81 Days
Had a rough night last night but I sat and spoke to my mum about everything and she supported me a lot...
Still not feeling great this morning but I'm eating okay and drinking plenty and trying to distract myself. I'm making these videos and songs for B... well one of them is for b and the other is for me... everything is going to be okay
We have got this
Everything will be okay
I love her and for as long as she feels the same
We will get through anything painful that comes our way... even if it takes us a lot of time
I love her
Gonna try to get some more stuff done today so I can start posting again soon 💜 xxxxxxxxxx
Update 15:10
I spoke to my mum some more this morning and we talked about the idea of me getting a dog. I figure that I have trouble putting a lot of intense pressure on one person and having a dog might help me to unload and have a companion... I think it's a really lovely idea. So we are considering finding me a dog from a rehoming shelter.
Other than that I sat in bed for most of the morning so now I'm going to have a shower and then I'll be working on my music a bunch!
I hope to get a version of mumble up later so I can get B's reaction to it. It'll be lovely to see what she thinks. As for right now, I'm just gonna have a shower. I bought another new lens that should come on Tuesday and give me a wider angle but I'm learning how to work with the camera and lens I have at the moment and I'm doing okay with it!
Had a big hug with Oscar earlier... he was being such a puppy and yes he scratched my wrist but it was cute and my mum took a picture so I'll post that later ☺️
I'm feeling better than I was this morning. Doing what I can to look after myself and do things more for myself than anyone else... I love to treat people and help them and I love seeing the smile on B's face when I do anything for her but I know I need to work on keeping myself happy so I am doing that... maybe I'm only doing it for B at the moment but as my self esteem grows more again I'll be doing things for myself solely which is such a positive ☺️
Hope you're having an amazing day!
I Love you xxxxxxxxx
Update 15:47
I'm out of the shower and I just spent a bit of time thinking over things an I remembered this game I used to play called Town Of Salem... I might have to start again... it was fun... it is fun and I need more things like that in my life again.☺️
Update 21:22
Just pitch correcting the harmony vocal and adding in the last few instruments... might end up playing some game with a friend tonight... Callum... maybe, maybe not... it'll be good if we do ☺️
I'll get a link added to this chapter soon 💜 xxxxxxxxx 🍏
Update 23:45
Going to bed soon... I had a pretty decent day. Played cards against humanity with the band and Charlai and me are going roller skating in a couple of weeks! It's something to keep me busy and I got a demo of mumble sorted so that's great!
Haven't heard from B all day but I'm sure she's just busy. I miss her... a lot...
Anyway... have a nice night!
I love you 💜🍏 xxxxxxxx
