Leading Love [boyxboy]

Chapter 38

*Chapter 38*

Collin

Fire. All I saw was fire. The unbearable heat, the toxic gases. I was scared, coughing, I wanted to run but at the same time I was frozen in place.

"Collin!" Mom called me with a choking voice, trying to grab my hand. But I was hesitating. I don't know why I was hesitating. The crying face of mother, her hand grabbing after me in despair. It scared me. It scared me so much.

"COLLIN!!" This time she screamed after me. I was trembling at the sight of her hand, slightly shimmering from the sweat. Mom! Her expression, she was like me crying and scared. She was feeling the same way I did.

"Mom!" I gasped for air and quickly stood up, reaching after her but just before I could grab it, the book shelve covered with fire crashed right between us, separating us from each other. "MOM!" I screamed when suddenly someone yanked me back. "No let me go! LET GO!!" Why is this happening to me?

"Collin! Look at me. It's me." I immediately turned to him and hugged him when I realized it was Dad. "Don't worry Mom will be fine. I already called for help. We'll have to get you out first."

"But Mom!!" Despite rejecting him, he completely ignored me and forced and dragged me out.

"Collin it's fine, I'm okay," Mom weakly said. I was not believing her one bit. Her words and what I saw didn't match. She was completely surrounded by fire and still managed to utter the words 'fine' and 'okay'?

I wasn't able to see her face anymore once we left the place. "She'll be fine," Dad tried to calm me down. And for the first time I hit him. Not once, not twice but severely. I hit and hit him, tears dropping down my cheeks.

"You liar! Liar! She isn't fine. You are both damn liars!" I was shouting like I was angry at him...

"Collin," he sighed, wanting to embrace me but I pushed him away.

"Leave me alone!" ...but in reality, I was just angry at myself.

_

"Collin," a soft voice shook me awake. I abruptly sat up, pushed the person away, or at least tried, but hopelessy failed when their arms wrapped around me. "Collin!" It was Loki. My breathing was still unsteady, as much as my heart beating and my cheeks where wet. "Relax, everything's fine."

"Shut up!" I snapped between my gasps. "Just shut up." I finally caught my breath as I was suffocated in Loki's hug.

"Are you okay now?" He let go of me and wiped my tears away with his thumbs. His face was so close to mine. A bit too close which is why I removed his hands from me and turned away.

"I'm taking a shower," I stood up and left him alone. As soon as I closed the door to the bathroom, I got rid of my clothes and felt relief when the cold water hit me.

"When will these dreams finally stop?" They kept repeating and repeating for the past five years. Disturbing my sleep all the time. I'm tired of it. Mom is not here anymore and I still regretted how I treated my Dad on that day. I knew that already, I've gotten over it. But then why? Why do they keep coming back? Those memories, those dreams and this feeling...

"Fuck!" I let my fist crash against the wall.

"What am I even doing here?" I sighed. I didn't know. But did it really matter?

And without noticing it, it felt like I was spending too much time in the bathroom which is why I quickly got out. "Loki? Could you lend me some clothes?" I asked after getting out the shower. No answer. "Loki?" I tried again. But there was still no response. I gritted my teeth. That damn... He's so doing it on purpose.