Winters Fire - Jon Snow

𝓯𝓲𝓯𝓽𝔂 𝓽𝓱𝓻𝓮𝓮

Days had passed since she last seen Jon, since she last felt heartache, since she felt her whole world fall apart. She couldn't deny that the pain was excruciating but she had to pull through it for herself.

But with the thought of him and Daenerys in her head she couldn't pull through it, she watched the two everyday laugh and talk, they even walked around the castle together and the sight of them made her want to be sick.

She sucked in a sharp breath watching Jon carry a box of DragonGlass onto a small ship, she braced herself before walking down the steps and greeting him 'Seems like you've got most of it' She introduced, he gently smiled wiping his hands on the leg of his pants.

'Yeah it is, we need to send it back off so we can make weapons, even Daenerys wants one for herself' Jon jokes unaware of the awful sickness welling in his wife's stomach 'We need it to be ready for the fight tomorrow.'

Arabella's mouth hung open at his words, she gripped onto her arm to stop herself from fainting at his absurdity 'Tomorrow?!' She yelled 'Your not going Jon no! Were you even going to tell me, tell your wife?!'

He shook his head glaring hard at her 'My wife? Was it not the other night you told me you weren't going to be here? You weren't going to support my decision and you still don't Arabella! What wife, doesn't support her husband?'

Arabella felt a lump rise in her throat at his words, she had just felt her heart shatter into a million tiny pieces 'Yes Jon I may not support your decision but it's only because I don't want to lose you! If you get hurt because you didn't listen to me, I would never forgive myself.'

Jon sucked in a sharp breath 'Why are you acting like this Bella? You know this is something I have to do. You know that I need to do this to save the seven kingdoms and all beyond it.'

She sucked in a sharp breath her heart stopping at the image of Jon lying dead in her arms washing over her like a hit to the stomach 'Beg your pardon your graces' Davos said clearing his throat.

A man stood tall next to him smiling 'I am Gendry' He introduced 'Robert Baratheon's - bastard son.'

Arabella weakly smiled at his words 'It's nice to finally meet you cousin'

Gendry nodded sticking his hand out which she kindly shook 'I take it this matter is for the King.' Arabella hissed glaring back at Jon.

'It is Your Grace' Davos nodded.

'So be it, please excuse me your Grace.' Arabella slyly glanced back at her husband and walked off.

<>

A knock sounded at the door and Bella sunk further into her chair her hand gripping on the goblet of wine, she didn't respond as she knew who the person was and so she was correct the door slowly opened revealing the person she didn't want to see - Jon.

He cleared his throat watching her chug the goblet and pour herself another it almost over flowing from the cup, she gave him a menacing glare before slamming the jug of wine back down onto the table sending it into a wild whooshing moment.

'Are you drunk?' He coughed removing his cloak, she hiccuped taking a large swig before placing her goblet firmly on the table, she sulked sending her a husband a quick glance.

'No.' Was all she said before turning away from him and standing to look out the window which overlooked the sea, a place she found comforting the past few nights.

'Davos told me where you were staying' He explained 'I'm just here to tell you about tomorrow's plans.'

She gulped watching the gentle crash of the waves and noting that you couldn't see where the grey night sky ended something she found amazingly satisfying 'I don't wish to hear of it.'

She finally turned to him 'Then I shall be going,' He coughed his hand lingering on the door.

'Did you even know who's room this is? Did Davos inform you?' She asked still not towards him.

Jon stilled in his spot turning and glancing around the room, the small bed the little wooden toys on the dresser, it was hard to miss who's room this was 'I did not.'

'I want to be left in peace, alone, i don't care for your battle plans, not now'

She didn't turn back at him at his words but he knew she was listening, listening closely to what he had to say 'I know a part of you.. even it's a small tiny part, knows why I have to do this, I have to save our people and this may be the only way to get more help, I know you understand that much'

She gulped taking in a long breath before fully turning to him 'Of course Jon. I completely understand why we have to but you don't have too. My brother is going that should be enough..'

'I promised our people that I would protect them.'

'Your people, The South is mine and the North is yours.. I would also hope you promised our children you would protect them, but right now your not.' She felt her heart shatter as the words left her mouth 'When you leave tomorrow i'm going to stay Jon, because wether or not I support you I married you and it is my duty as a wife.'

'Is it not your duty as the love of me life? Not just my wife Bella..'

'Stop Jon. I don't support this because i'm protecting you, but you won't listen to me and every time no one listens to me something goes terribly wrong. So no I won't support you because you love me.'

'Shouldn't it be because you love me?' His voice grew hoarse and he watched her legs tremble as she tried to come up with an answer.

'Of course Jon. But something deep down inside of me tells me this... isn't right. All because of Daenerys.' She felt tears prick her eyes 'I saw the way you looked at her the past few days, i saw you both laughing together, did she show you my home? Did she show you the halls? The table? The caves?'

Jon closed his eyes tightly shaking his head 'She's helped us so much Bella don't you see that? She gave us the DragonGlass something she didn't need to do!' He felt himself grow angry after every word he said.

'She overtook my home! She made people who I know my full life believe her lies! And now she's controlling you? Don't you see it, I mean come on Jon your probably doing all of this because of her, to prove your a good king for her!'

'I can't listen so this shit Bella!' He yelled, she felt the tears prick her eyes yet she didn't give into them she held her guard 'I'm going tomorrow and if I die, then I die. But not in a million worlds would I be going for Daenerys i'm going for my people.'

'Go then Jon, but if you leave this room now, if you go tomorrow..' She gulped at her words 'I won't ever forgive you'

He gave her one last glance thinking on her words 'Then don't' She stood with her mouth hung wide open watching her husband leave, leave her for the last time.

<>

The morning came quick and watching Jon sail off on the ship was the most agonising but she held in the pain and said goodbye, she knew he didn't leave on good terms with her but it didn't matter.

Jon would return and she could only pray that he would, because if he didn't and the last thing she said to him was I won't ever forgive you... she would never forgive herself.