Behind Blue Eyes

Chapter 5

*Liam’s POV*

“UGHHH!” I heard coming out of Niall’s bedroom. After his release from the hospital, I haven’t seen him much. Both because Marisa’s been by his side 24/7 and because I had to accept that fact that they were dating and he did love her, not me. I needed time, I needed space. If I was ever going to get over this little confusion, then seeing Niall wouldn’t help at all. I had to get away from all this and clear my head. This wasn’t me. I couldn’t feel things like this. I can’t. I’m not.

“Niall, are you okay?” I say gently while hitting my knuckles against his bedroom door, making the door swing open a tad. I peek my head through to see Niall sitting on his bed, with his head down. His blonde tips sticking out of the tops of his fingers, which curled around his head in frustration. His head slowly lifted up, his blue eyes shining as they met with mine.

“Oh hey Liam.”

“Sorry, I’ll just leave.”

“No no no, stay! I haven’t seen you in ages!”

“Yeah, sorry about that…”

“Its fine, maybe you could help me with this One Direction shit.”

“What?”

“I cant remember the words, the beat, anything about this One Direction,”

“don’t worry about it, its not your fault.”

“but Liam, I get that its not my fault, that I didn’t ask for this to happen, but that’s not going to help anything, I’m not going to get any better.”

In that moment, I could really see Niall. Back before everything happened. The vulnerability in his voice, the lost sadness in his eyes. My heart ached at the sight before me, suddenly I was unsure of what to say. What to tell my best friend to whom I shared everything with, in the past. Suddenly there were things I couldn’t tell him and things I didn’t know how to put to words. I didn’t know what to do next.

*NIALL’S POV*

♪ “My hearts a stereo, it beats for you so listen close. Hear my thoughts and every note o-oh. Make me a radio.” ♪

I hear this indescribable voice. Its softness, the way it just gets to you and touches you right there. I found myself staring at Liam, admiring the way his eyes would shut while he sings, his throat would move. He just looks beautiful.

♪ “Turn me up when you feel low, this melody was meant for you. So sing along to my stereo.” ♪

I suddenly heard a voice that wasn’t just Liam’s, but another. Mine. I didn’t know where or how. But listening to Liam; thinking about Liam made the words flow out of me like it was nothing. Like I never forgot them at all.

“Oh my gosh!” I breathed out. I couldn’t believe it. I finally remembered something! The excitement takes over, I didn’t know what to do so the next thing I knew I was in Liam’s arms hugging him. We both slowly peel back, making me stare into his eyes. And I realized he is beautiful, I didn’t know if that was weird to say that about your best friend, but I didn’t care, it was true. Everything about him. His eyes, his nose, his cheeks, his lips….I couldn’t take my eyes off his darn lips and next thing I knew I was leaning towards them.

Suddenly my mind fills with images of the tour, the singing, the crowd. The feeling I got when I looked out to the thousands of fans and did what I loved. I could remember the things we did on stage. The dancing. My jumping….suddenly my breath hitches and everything comes flashing back. My fall. The sirens. The blood. The pain. The blackness.

*Liam’s POV*

My breath hitches as I start leaning closer and closer to Niall. My eyes never leaving his lips, making mine slightly open. I see Niall’s face suddenly pale, his head quickly snap back from mine, making me worry and silently panic. His hands jump to his temples, his eyes tightly shut, and his breath become heavier. Was it me? What were we going to do?

“Niall? What’s wrong?” I say softly, putting a hand on his shoulders, but he doesn’t move a muscle. A knot forms in my stomach in anticipation of what’s going on. What I did.

“Jus-just go.” He softly says, slowly unwinding himself from the ball in which he formed previously.

“Are you okay?”

“JUST GO, OKAY?!” I stepped back as I watched his finger thrust towards the door. Tears filled my eyes as I quickly looked to floor and nearly ran out of his house.

I finally got it. What was in there was nothing. There was NOTHING between us. He hated me. I couldn’t have these feelings if this was the case. I just couldn’t. How was I supposed to like a straight, taken guy who hates me? I had to do something. Something to make these feelings go away.

Since there was no One Direction, I never had to see Niall again.