“It’s been a while. How are you feeling?” I asked the man beside me. The man that made my life worthy.
He just stared on a peaceful view by the river. “Happy.” He then looked at me. “Accepted”.
Accepted. The thing I should have done the moment I was eaten up with situations.
I nodded as an answer. “Great.” I tried to stop my tears from rolling down. It’ll be a shame if he’ll see me cry. “Sa tingin mo, will things be the same if we stayed the same as we were before?” I stared at the running water of the river. “If we still have those things that we believed can make us a better person?” I sigh. “The things we love?” I then looked at his face. “The things we once have?” I chuckled softly as I remember moments that will always remain as a memory. “What if we didn’t end it up? What if we still stayed together? What if we...held each other? Stronger-” I paused and all I hear is the whistling wind, running water and the chatting crowd. “Will we still be together?” I took courage to look at him and see him looking at me. Pitying. “Fuck, don’t look at me like that. Baka mabangasan kita.” I forced a laugh.
Too much "what ifs" that should have happend. Kung sana lang ang mga what ifs nuon ginawa namin, ginawa ko, sana masaya pa rin kami ngayon. But I never thought I’ll have this kind of conversation with him again. I was afraid he’ll never look at me again. That he’ll ignore me my whole life.
“I must say, it will never be the same. I will never be who I am now. We will never have Heidi. I won’t meet great people. I won’t be on the headlines. I won’t win cases…” We laughed because of his over confidence. “It’ll definitely be a far different story.”
“Yeah” I whispered. “Definitely a far different story. It’ll surely be a disaster.”
“But thanks to you. It’s all because of you.”
“That must be the one and only right decision I’ve ever made.” I looked at him. “Letting you go.” Letting those bitter words burst.
“But it’s a win-win, right?” Until now, accepting and pretending to be on a win-win situation hurts me big time. I can never accept it. But…
“Yeah, I’ll call it quits.” I smiled bitterly.
“Teka nga, ok pa ba make up ko?” I asked diverting the sad moment while fixing my flower crown. Just like we were young, he fixed my hair and tucked it behind my ear. How I wish the feeling was still the same, the situation was still the same, the love was still the same.
“Yeah, you’re beautiful. As ever.” Just like how he said it. Para syang napaso at biglang binawi ang kamay.
“Atty. Dela Rosa, it’s time” Said the man on suit. He nodded as an answer. As he stand, he fixed his white tuxedo but before he takes a step towards the crowd, I called his name hoping it will be the last time.
“Sid.” I cracked a voice to ask a dangerous question. "Minahal mo naman ako, diba?" He turned to look at me, seeing me smile painfully.
"You were once my life, Sasha."
“Congratulations on your wedding day, Attorney.”
I must have mastered faking a smile. Yes, I was once his life, iba na ngayon. We once dreamed of marrying, of having kids and growing our roots together. Lifetime it may seemed but we were still young back then. Didn't know how life works, how love works, how destiny works. Umasa akong ako ang malalakad sa altar at sya ang nasa dulo. Seeing him marry someone who's not me, ang sakit. Akala ko destined kami. Akala ko kami na talaga. Kaso hindi naman pala. Kahit pala ang dami na naming nalampasan, we are still not meant to be.
“Thank you, Sasha.”
Love and sacrifice. Both are beautiful. Both are painful. And I am confident to have those both on him. He was once my man. My everything. My life. My sacrifice. Hinding hindi ako magsisisi sa mga naging desisyon ko. Though it was painful, it made him a better person. It made him who he is now. He’s with the person he wanted now. He’s happy. I am proud I was one of those people who made him as he is now. That at least I have a part on his life. Kahit na hindi leading lady but at least his ‘almost’ wife to be.
“Mahal pa rin kita, Sid” I hopelessly whispered as a tear fell as he stood by the altar waiting for his beautiful bride as she walks down through the aisle.
Oops! Ang larawang ito ay hindi sumusunod sa aming mga alituntunin sa nilalaman. Upang magpatuloy sa pag-publish, subukan itong alisin o mag-upload ng bago.
