𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚋𝚘𝚍𝚢 𝚝𝚘 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎// john deacon

chapter twenty eight - you're my best friend

   "THE SONG IS called Love Of My Life. I just sang it for Paul, and he thought it was good." Freddie said to Valerie, who had sat on the piano bench next to him as they often did when he was giving her a late night lesson. He'd been working with the band all day. 

"Who'd you write it for?" Valerie asked. It was a harmless question, but she felt Freddie tense up slightly beside her. Valerie knew what it was about. She opened her mouth to speak but Freddie beat her to some words.

"I wrote it for Mary," he replied quietly before he started to play the song.

"Love of my life, you've hurt me. You've broken my heart, and now you leave me. Love of my life, can't you see? Bring it back, bring it back. Don't take it away from me, because you don't know what it means to me." Freddie finished the song with a flourish on the piano, glancing at Valerie before dropping his gaze.

Valerie's mouth was slight agape at the beautiful song Freddie had just played. "Fred, it's beautiful. I love it." She said, looking at him.

His hands were clasping the piano bench, and he was very tense to the point where his knuckles were turning white.

"Freddie, what's wrong?" She asked him, though she felt she knew the answer already.

"I owe you an explanation. For what happened the other day,"

"Freddie, you don't-" Valerie tried to say, but was interrupted by Freddie holding up a hand to quiet her down.

"Please, just let me speak. What happened the other day at the gas station....... to answer your question, yes. I was, um, kissing Evan. But I'm so confused."

"What about?"

"My sexuality, Valerie. I love Mary dearly, truly, I do. But with Evan, I feel something completely different. I'm so utterly attracted to him, and I can't help but feel disgusted with myself for that." Freddie said, the pain in his voice making Valerie hurt right along with him.

"And I understand if you'll hate me for kissing guys, or for even being attracted to one in the first place, but your the first person I've ever told this to. It started when we were on the tour in America. Or rather, maybe even before that. I just don't know." Freddie said, trailing off with a heavy sigh.

Valerie realized then that Freddie was crying silent tears, and was shaking slightly. She'd never seen him so emotionally fragile before. It broke her heart to think that he could ever thing she would hate him for who he was.

"Oh, Freddie, baby. I will never hate you for who you are. Ever. You are the most fantastic, wonderful, talented, loving person I have ever met. If you think that just because you like to kiss guys I'll hate you, you are dead wrong." Valerie said softly, wrapping her arms around Freddie, who immediately hugged back, burying his head in her shoulder.

    "If you and Evan are a something, I'm fine with that. I support you and whoever you choose to love. It's not my business where your heart wants to wander." Valerie said gently as she rubbed Freddie's shoulder. He smiled slightly.
  
    "But, you'll have to tell Mary eventually. You can't keep it from her forever."

     "I know. I'll tell her once I'm not confused anymore. I still love her, though. It's all very confusing, y'know. Feeling the way I feel about Evan has changed nothing about how I feel about Mary."  Freddie said, moving his head from Valerie's shoulder to look her in the eyes, obviously just a bit distressed but relieved he was able to finally talk to someone.

    "So you're okay with me being..... bisexual?" Freddie struggled to say the word, as it was very foreign for him. He also didn't know whether it was the right label to put on himself, but he felt more comfortable saying that than saying 'liking guys and girls'.