𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚋𝚘𝚍𝚢 𝚝𝚘 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎// john deacon

chapter forty nine - garden lodge

1989

VALERIE AND BRIAN weren't on great speaking terms for a whole year. After his divorce from Payton, things had been awkward between the two of them, and they'd gotten into many many arguments, many of which John or Roger had to break up.

     Payton had moved out of the house she and Brian owned and had gotten a house in the country. She and Brian had split custody of the kids; he got them three days a week and she had them four.

The times Valerie had visited her, Payton told her that it wasn't a big deal. That Valerie could still be friends with Brian and with her and it would hurt her. In fact, Payton was rather alright, no matter how much it hurt, she said it had been inevitable. Valerie called her every day.

      But it was still off between Brian and Valerie for and while until it all came crashing down. Brian's father died, and Freddie had told them that he had AIDS. It was stressful for everyone, and Valerie and Brian were at a deep loss - Brian from losing his father, and Valerie from losing her second father figure.

     She and Brian resumed talking again as a way to cope; they helped each other through the death of his father as well as through the stress of Freddie's sickness.Freddie, in turn, had also begged them to reconcile because he couldn't bear to see them fight.

      Valerie, as did the rest of the band, became very stressed out and sad, but most of all Brian. He was facing so many losses at once.

       John had become very depressed and distant for a while; Valerie urged him to go get help, which he did, and she could see how it genuinely helped him even if he had been nervous to see a therapist at first for fear they might sell the press his information.

       But then came the baby. Valerie was ready to welcome the fifth baby into the family, but she'd lost it in her second month. Her doctor couldn't explain why, exactly, but she'd said it's likely been a lot of stress and lack of sleep.

   It had been very hard on her; she'd cried for days on end. This added to John's stress too, but he'd been there for her through it all. In the end, she'd ended up going to therapy as well.

      Roger and Dominique, also, had gotten separated, but this did not hinder Valerie in her friendship with her. Because Dominique had also suffered from miscarriages, she and Valerie had met up a lot and simply talked for hours. Valerie did the same with Payton, even so long after the fact.

     Valerie was nearly fully back to her normal self about seven months after what happened. She was much more sociable than she had been a while. She'd even started to talk to Brian much more regularly, but that was mostly because John had been taking her to the shootings of the music videos and taken her into the studio.

      "Cigarette?" Anita Dobson asked quietly, her heels clicking while she came up to Valerie who was leaning on a tower of amps and music cases.

      The two of them were on the set for the recording of the Miracle music video along with Debbie Leng, but she was with Elena at the vending machines. John and Freddie were laughing at something one of the kids said, and Brian was teaching the kid that was acting as him how to play a certain part.

     "Sure," Valerie said, taking the cigarette and thanking Anita when she offered a lighter to her. Anita smiled and nodded at Valerie. "I don't smoke a lot anymore, but figure I deserve it now."

       "A lot?"

      "I still smoke every now and again. John still does, so I'll treat myself every now and then. Terrible habit, really." Valerie admitted, laughing slightly.