Just Stay (Phan Fiction)

Goodbye's

Dan's POV

I woke up in Phil's arms. He was awake and I could hear him muttering to himself as he pressed his lips gently to the top of my head, showering me with love and sweet kisses. I tried not to show that I was awake and listened to his words. It broke my heart when I heard what he said.

"I'm sorry, so so sorry, Dan. I don't want to leave, it'll be okay. We'll be okay. I promise, Dan, why am I such a fail?" he was so quiet that I had to strain to hear him but he continued to kiss the top of my head when I felt wetness falling onto my hair. I tightened my grip around Phil's waist and looked up at him through my fringe. He knew that I had heard him and he knew that I could see the tears streaming down his face. But he didn't wipe them away. He looked embarrased but he just stared at me with so much adoration and sadness that I felt my heart breaking again and agiain and again. How was I going to manage two years?

No Dan, it won't be that bad. Only two months and we get to meet up in New York, America, it will be great. But even with these thoughts, I still gripped tighter to the older boy who was shaking beneath my grasp. I lifted a hand up to wipe his face and then brushed my hand through his messy hair. We didn't have to say our goodbye's for a while but that didn't stop me from leaning up and pressing my lips softly to Phil's quaking ones. He was stressed out and I knew that he needed to calm down before he got too worked up. He was tense but soon melted under my touch and caressed the side of my face lovingly as I continued to deepen the kiss. Soon Phil was above me and he pressed passionate kisses against my bare neck making me shiver.

I didn't protest at first and allowed the small moans that were full of passion and lust to escape my mouth as Phil left multiple marks on my neck. It was when he pulled my shirt off of me and began to kiss down my chest that I looked down at him with scared and pleading eyes. Phil simply nodded and with a small smile, he rolled down next to me. "That was a nice good morning." he mumbled with a grin.

I just looked down at my bare chest, trying not to let it show to Phil how embarrassed I was. I couldn't just open up even a little, could I? I had to go and ruin everything and make Phil probably hate me. I was being to selfish while all Phil did was care for me and make sure that he didn't do anything to upset me. My eyes clouded over as stupid tears threatened to leak out. This was so stupid, why was I thinking this? I mean, it's true but I'm getting so upset over these stupid things that shouldn't be important and shouldn't matter. But they did. To me.

"Dan, baby, what's wrong?" Phil asked, pulling me away from my dark thoughts. I didn't say anyrhing, I just stared down, crossing my arms over my chest and trying to make myself seem invisible. "Please, love, talk to me." Phil pleaded.

"I-I'm sorry." I stuttered, still not looking up.

"What for?" he asked sounding genuinly confused.

"You know, not going any fur-, err, not being-"

Phil cut me off with a light kiss on the lips. "It's okay, love, I understand why. You take as long as you need, I'm not pressuring you to do anything. I'm completely okay with it, okay love?"

I sniffled a little before turning and burrying my face in Phil's chest, hugging him tightly. I nodded into his chest as he stroked my hair comfotingly. I didn't say anything but he understood and accepted my thanks. Even though I still thought that I had disappointed him and that he was going to get bored with me soon, I didn't argue with him because it would just upset him. I'm already enough of a failure without hurting the one person that meant the most to me. Once my breathing calmned down, I kept my face in Phil's chest but he stopped running his hand through my hair. His hand moved to under my chin and he turned my head upwards so that I was facing him. My puffy, red eyes locked with his calming blue ones but his were full of pity.