Angels Blade

Chapter 14

I am not small. I am not weak. I do not need your help. I do not need your protection. I am not innocent. I am not a wimp. I am not a child. I am not a toy.

I was sitting alone in my room at my writing desk. The small room was only illuminated by the white light of my desk lamp that gazed down at me as my pen cascaded over the paper. I had become accustomed to my job and in my opinion I thought I did it pretty well despite the constant interruptions. My attention was drawn away from my task by the sound of fluttering wings outside my window. I walked over and lifted the blinds and opened the window allowing the cold winter air to invade the room. White wings fluttered in front of me as the tall angel ascended on the window sill, climbing into the room.

"Did I give you permission to enter?" I asked as I left the window sill and returned to my desk to retrieve the thick leather bound book I had been writing in.

"You are late on your report so I came to see what's up." Ava muttered as she shifted uncomfortably in front of the window. It was my job to document the dead and once a week an angel would come and take my notes. This week Ava was that angel.

"Nothing's up. It just took a bit longer this time." I walked over and I could see her visibly flinch as I approached. Over the past few years I had grown taller and had almost reached Ava's height. Despite this Ava still treated me as a child, or at least she tried to when she could. The truth was she was sort of scared of me ever since she heard how I killed Zanders. She knew that that was what I was planning to do but in truth she never thought I stood a chance. She wasn't the only one scared of me. A lot of people were which only worked in my favor since both demons and angels tended to leave me alone.

"Here." I said, handing her the book. She took it gingerly and set it under her arm.

"Is there anything else?" I asked as I saw her looking at me shifty eyed.

"The book....."

"What about it?"

"It's thicker than normal." I sighed loudly as I walked away to sit down on the side of my bed.

"I go over this with you every time. As the total population rises so does the death toll. I don't have anything to do with it. I just write the results down."

Ava opened the book and flipped through some of the pages gazing at the hundreds and hundreds of names written in my own fine cursive script.

"Doesn't this ever make you.....depressed."

"No Im used to it."

"You know Philip and Wendy were asking about you."

"Really, what do they want?"

"They want to know if you're ok."

"It's been three years. I'm fine."

She sighed as she closed the book and placed it back under my her arm.

"Look I know I said some bad things but in all honesty Philip and Wendy are good people and its not entirely their fault that things happened the way they did." She said.

"I know that."

"You do?"

"Of course. I know better then anyone how they saw me because that was the image I created for them to see. This was never about revenge or anything like that on my part. I didn't want revenge on them for treating me like a child just like I didn't kill Zanders out of revenge for him killing Elizabeth. In a way Zanders was nothing more than a pawn. He was a clever and convenient way to prove to the others that I was capable of taking care of myself."

"So you don't care about what happened to Elizabeth?"

"No."

"Even though in a way she was you? You were once Elizabeth, you know?"

"I don't care in the slightest."

Aza shifted back and forth in front of the window. Was I good or was I evil? She had been trying to figure this out for years and she was still nowhere close to knowing the truth. The truth was that there was no truth since the answer changed depending on the point of view and opinion.

"I don't know Elizabeth." I stated. "You say we are the same person but in truth I feel no connection to the name. Except for one thing. I know that one Zanders killed her she was probably not surprised and she probably didn't fight back."

"Didn't fight back? What makes you think that?"

"I don't think, I know. I know that the moment those two began their relationship she already knew how it was going to end but didnt stop it because she also knew that no one can escape the fate of death. I've been going over those names in that book for years now so I know that there is no escaping one's inevitable death. It is a given that it is going to happen so if you are going to be killed by someone why not have it be someone you love."

Aza looked at me as if I was crazy but said nothing. She had no standing in this conversation since I was the Angel of Death and therefore was more knowledgeable on the subject of demise.

"Well ok then." She mumbled as she stepped back out onto the window ledge, unfurling her long white wings behind her. "I'll be back again next week so make sure you have all your work done by then."

"I will." I nodded. Then she was gone with only a small gust of wind as proof of her appearance. I yawned and stretched as I walked to the window and closed the glass door. Outside the moon hung still as a perfect crescent resting just above the roofs of the tallest buildings. I had gotten what I had wanted. I had proven that I was strong. I had proven that I didn't need protection. Despite that why do I feel so sad? Why do I feel so lonely?