Before She Ruled (Before Series, Book 1)

Chapter Twenty-Three

Theo barely escaped the overheated and overly decorated room with his wits about him. He stepped out into the bitter night. December had blown in with no mercy for the people of London. Flurries of snow swirled around him, and the whipping wind was a welcome contrast to the unbearable heat from within.

The heat of Lord Clemonte's breath as he carried on about the benefits of the marriage. The heat of Lord Trotten's face as he stood against it, undoubtedly fueled by a past he was yet unwilling to share. The heat of Addie's gaze as she willed him to look at her. And lastly, the heat of Andrew's quiet assessment, which seemed to imply his knowledge of what Theo wanted to say while also willing him to stay silent.

Theo, who had always believed himself strong, could no longer stay in that room. It was breaking him. So he had to leave.

Unfortunately, he had quickly been found out.

"You didn't deny it, you know." Lord Trotten's voice sliced through the wind.

Theo sighed, rounding back on Lord Trotten and his house. "Deny what?"

"Earlier, when you asked why I was forewarning you about the proposal. I had said that I know what it is like to lose the woman you love. You didn't deny that you loved her."

Theo's hair flew around him in the wind as he shrugged. "What is the point? If it is a secret, it is a poorly concealed one, at least to those that matter."

Trotten considered the statement. "Yes, perhaps for some of those who matter. But not for the one who matters most." He paused and Theo stared blankly at him. "Adelaide. You need to tell her, Kingfield."

Theo threw his hands in the air, giving up. "Damnit, Trotten, why the bloody hell would I do that? She has to marry the prince, save the country. All of that. She doesn't need me or want me. Even if she did, it would only complicate matters."

"Why don't you at least give her the option of deciding?" Trotten pressed.

When Theo only shook his head and ran his fingers through his wind-tousled hair, the other man continued.

"I didn't tell Emilia the truth when I left her. I didn't tell her what was really going on. I made the decision without her knowing. There's a part of me that regrets that," he finished, maudlin.

Theo rolled his eyes in response. "If you still wanted her, you would have told me the truth by now. You would have told her by now." Lord Trotten was silent. "But you're not going to tell me why you really left her, are you?"

Trotten approached him calmly, his eyes narrowing in contemplation, his hands deep inside his pocket of his buckskin breeches. When Theo thought he might launch into a pleading explanation, he came to a stop just inches before Theo and simply said, "No, I'm not."

"I don't have time for this," Theo muttered and turned to leave.

Lord Trotten shrugged. "Wrong. You'll soon find that you have too much time. For it is you who will have to live a lifetime without her."

Theo stopped short, his stomach plummeting at hearing the words aloud. Words he had been thinking but refused to ponder on. Damn this infuriating man. He glared back at him.

"I'll go with her to meet the king and queen. I'll see if the marriage conditions are met. And then I'll consider telling her."

Lord Trotten walked toward him again. Christ, the man was practically stalking him.

"If you expose yourself as her ally, she won't be able to stay with you in your home any longer," Trotten pointed out.

Theo bristled. "I can protect her."