Unplanned (Frian)

The Birth

Franny's POV 

After 8 painful hours of labor, baby Gavin Chance Lawley was born into the world on the Saturday of August 12, 2020. They had finished cleaning him and doing the medical things to him. Since he was born 8 weeks early he only weighed about 4 pounds and had a thin breathing tube attached. They said it was for precautionary measures because his lungs aren't as developed as a regular newborn. But, after a couple days in the NICU I would be able to take him home because they will slowly be easing him off the mask.

I watched him sleep peacefully until I felt my eyes get droopy. I knew there was one thing I had to do, even if I didn't want to do it. I grabbed my phone and opened my contacts. 

Franny: St. John's medical hospital, room 208. Get your ass over here if you want the your name on the birth certificate. If not, Gavin Chance Arrieta sounds good too.

Surprisingly there was a response rapidly. 

Kian: I'll be there in 30 minutes 

I took a short nap but by the time I woke up Kian was already in the room.

 "He's amazing huh?" Kian said as he saw me staring at him. 

"Yeah, he's a fighter for sure. He weighs 4 and 1/2 pounds yet he's got that full head of hair. Must've been all that heartburn I felt" I said. After a moment of silence I continued, "he's the spitting image of you. He's been sleeping since and I only got to see his eyes for a second, but they're grey. I don't know if they're going to turn brown but they were gorgeous... I don't know how you can just walk away from us."

 "I'm really sorry Franny" he said as his voice cracked. "If I could take it all back I would" He said. I scoffed, "just sign the papers and go. I'll tell you when we leave the hospital so you can see him again before we leave." Kian nodded and obeyed my wishes. 

He signed the papers but before leaving he walked to the baby and Gavin held his finger almost as if he knew that was his dad and this would be a temporary goodbye. Kian carefully pulled away and walked out. "Bye Gavin, bye Fran" he said gently as he exited. 

I couldn't help the silent tears roll down my face as the man of my dreams walked out of my life yet once again figuratively and literally. 

I eventually fell back asleep and was awoken by Gavin's cries. I carefully picked him up to breastfeed him. He was so small and gentle it was saddening. His cries were not as healthy and loud as a "healthy" baby and I partly blame myself. If I would've just removed myself from all the stress maybe I wouldn't have gone into preterm labor and maybe Gavin would be healthier. 

———

After four days of being hospitalized we were finally able to go home. At first I was told I would have to leave as Gavin stayed in the NICU for an extra 2 days but I fainted due to lack of nutrients seeing as Gavin had drained me so much. Even then, I couldn't be enough for him. The doctors were surprised they didn't notice that earlier about me but they said it was rare because I wasn't struggling to produce milk, yet my body was lacking the nutrients for myself. I was giving them all to Gavin, leaving myself defenseless. 

As awful as it may sound to someone else, it pleased me because me and my body were on the same page about giving Gavin the world, after all he deserves it after getting stuck with shitty parents. That reminds me, I need to stop the bad language because I don't want or need Gavin repeating anything I say. 

I went home and rested. I hadn't told anyone I had already had the baby. The only people who knew were pretty much Nezza and Kian unless Kian being Kian, told Jc. I texted everyone before bed saying if they wanted to see the baby they could come anytime this week because I'm going to be out of my apartment next Saturday because I will be moving. 

Sure enough everyone managed to come see Gavin and I throughout the week. Gavin was an easy baby in the sense that other people could carry him and he didn't cry as long as he could see or hear me near by. 

Once everyone had come by and it was time for me to pack everything and go, I didn't want to. I feel like I'm failing Gavin from taking him away from his dad. I knew it had to be done though, so with tears in my eyes, Gavin in his car seat, and keys in the other, I shut the door and closed that chapter of my life.