Sorry That I Loved You

Chapter 5

Kai held the picture frame gently in his hands as he stared at it. It had been almost half a year since you had left. The pain of separation hadn’t dulled a single bit, if anything, it seemed to have intensified. Kai placed the picture frame carefully back on the bedside table and flipped over on the mattress. Tears gathered at the corners of his eyes as the scene at the airport replayed itself over and over again in his mind. 

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Adrenaline course through Kai’s veins as the beat of the song pulsed in his head. Lately it seemed as if dance was the only way he could forget about you, about the pain of missing you, and the regret that he felt whenever he remembered your blank expression upon seeing him.

Shaking all traces of thoughts of you from his mind, he focused on the dance moves, giving all his energy to every move. When the song ended, he joined the members for a short break. The six boys were exhausted and busy guzzling down water when a knock came on the practice room door. Suho got up to open the door as the rest of the members stayed on the floor.

The door swung open and Kai nearly choked on his water when he saw who was on the other side of it.

”_________ah, it’s nice to see you again.” Suho greeted you as you stepped in the practice room. The rest of the members all greeted you warmly as Kai slowly moved to the side, still unable to believe that you were truly back.

As you talked enthusiastically with Chanyeol, the other members looked sympathetically at Kai. He kept his head lowered, watching you quietly from the corner of his eye. You looked more mature since you left, but the sweet and innocent look in your eyes was still there. Your appearance hadn’t changed much and neither had your quirks. You still swept your bangs irritably to the side whenever they fell in your eyes, and you still waved your hands animatedly in the air when you talked.

Kai felt a pang of sadness mixed with longing as he watched you talk eagerly with the rest of the members. He wanted so badly to be with the rest of them, talking and laughing with you. He wanted to pull you into his arms and hold you there and never let go. But he couldn’t. He knew he had to have the self control to distance himself for you. I won’t hurt her again, he resolved silently to himself.

Without warning he ran for the door, not wanting to watch anymore. On the way out the door he knocked brashly into you. The sudden contact sent tingles up his spine, it had been so long since he had been close enough to you to touch you.

You stared in bewilderment at Kai’s retreating form. What’s wrong with him? you wondered. You were about to chase after him when Baekhyun grabbed you by the wrist and held you back.

“He’s just having a bad day. Don’t worry about it, it’s not your fault. ” he said. You nodded but you couldn’t help but feel like something was off.