Me, Myself And I

Suspicions

Scarlett's POV

I woke up at 10am today. I needed to sleep in, that way I suffered less from my headaches. Tuesday was the get together at Anthony's house. It was good and casual for the most part of it, but there was something about the Spencer's. Those triplet sisters. They seemed alert, or something like that. But not normal. Why though? Do they suspect something? They weren't acting out of ordinary really, it just seemed as if their actions were planned like I had that day. The thing I hate the most was that Jasmine was no where to be seen, or in my case, heard. Ever since I told her to leave me alone, she actually left. I've tried to reach out to her, but nothing. It almost feels bereft without her.

I stood up from my bed and headed to the bathroom to get ready. After I was done I wore black skinny jeans, a black Trasher t-shirt and black converse sneakers. I brushed my hair and let it cascade down my back. I took all the things I needed since I'm going to see Dr Lindemann, my psychotherapist. I went downstairs and ate some chocolate cereal for breakfast. I hate that I can't discuss my situation about the Spencer's with Jasmine. Now it makes me feel that maybe I'm paranoid, maybe the Spencer's are alright and I'm the psycho. How ironic. The fact that I can't hear voices in my head makes me think I've gone psycho. It should be vice versa.

I finished my breakfast and cleaned in the kitchen. I went out and locked up the house since both my parents were at work. They started working yesterday. I hopped on my black Mitsubishi motorcycle and put on my helmet. In 30 minutes time, I got to my therapist's office. I parked at the nearest spot and hopped off. I took off my helmet and combed my hair with my fingers. I entered the clinic and went straight to reception. "Morning Paula," I greeted the receptionist. "Morning Scarlett, I didn't think I would be seeing you this soon into the year. How have you been?" She asked politely. "I've been alright thanks, you?" I asked in return. "Just peachy honey. Well you can wait by the waiting room and I'll let you know when the doc is ready to see you," Paula informed me. I nodded and smiled at her gently as I headed towards the waiting room.

I picked up the magazine that lay on top of the stack of magazines. Us weekly, the words that attracted me to this magazine were how to deal with the unknown. Right now I was dealing with a lot of "unknowns". I opened page 23, as per instructions. I wasn't surprised to see that Dr Lindemann was the one they interviewed for this article. But the article read as follows:

How to deal with the unknown

It's very hard to deal with something that you don't know. In my practice and experience of 20 years, I've seen a lot. Many surprising cases. But one of the most stressful of cases are those associated with children. When children go through post traumatic stress disorder or PTSD, we don't know how it'll affect them or what they're doing to cope with it. Many children end up acting strangely and are never really the same, but in a way they themselves don't see they're behaviours and it almost seems like it doesn't faze them. They have this disconnect with brain-to-action coordination. It's almost robotic. And they seem blunt about things, like a layer of the humanness that they once had has shed off....

"Scarlett, Dr Lindemann will see you now," Paula's voice resonated throughout the small room making me jerk my head towards her. I gave her a small smile and stood up shakily. I went to the doc's office without directions, I knew the place well by now. I knocked twice before she signalled for me to enter. I sat on the little beige leather couch that she kept in her office. "Morning Scarlett, how are you today? How were the holidays?" Natalie, Dr Lindemann, asked me with a friendly smile. "Oh I'm good thanks and the holidays were nice. And you?" I asked her in return. "Never better," she smiled beautifully.

"So how are you really, concerning your psychological health?"
"Aren't you the one to tell me about that," I snorted. "I guess that's true..." She trailed off. "I've been getting a lot of memory flashes. Some are insignificant, like the one I had where I was watching a cartoon called Rick and Morty. But there are some that make me ask questions," I told Natalie. "Tell me about those," she prompted. "Well, there's one where I was in school, at the cafeteria, with Olivia. One of the Spencer's. It seems like a harmless memory, we were eating lunch and laughing and just generally chatting. But I could tell it was the first time we were meeting since I seemed kinda nervous, even Jen confirmed it was the first day we met.