Reason i was gone so long
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Hey everyone, im back. The reason i was gone so long is because my crappy phone has barely any storage. I had to delete wattpad but i have it back now. Also, i needed to figure some stuff out in my life. My depressions getting a little better but its still there and i know most of its not curable so ya.
Ive missed writing about my life. Get stuff off of me chest and ugh schools starting back up soon and there will be many more stories.
Now lets get to the story
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Life is hard but sometimes things come easy. If they come easy then its not right. It wont work. The happiness will end soon.
I went through a rough spot during the time i was away from wattpad. It was really bad for me.
School is starting up soon. I have a mission. Its new year new me. Im not gonna hide as much. Im still probably gonna hide in the corner of my classrooms again but not as much. Im gonna be more social. Be more alive. Not care what people say about me. Im not gonna get upset when somebody says something that would usually hurt me.
Ive spent alot of my time the last few weeks hanging out with my best friend gavin. Hes moving to florida in a few years. Its gonnna hurt when he moves. Hes been my best friend since 1st grade. 😔 im crying while writing this.
I feel like sooner or later im going to loose everybody i care about. All of my best friends are moving away from wellsville.
I wish i could move. I hate it here in wellsville.
Every time im almost happy i get news of something or something happens and it screws everything up.
I dont know whats wrong with me. I always wake up in tears. I randomly start crying every now and then. I feel empty. I feel like the life inside of me was sucked out of me.
I am not okay.
I am trying to get better though.
Have you seen the movie shazam. If not skip this part.
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In shazam there is a part where billy/shazam says to his foster brother "your just mad because you wish you had these powers"
And the brother says "yes i am because i have based my life off of this stuff. I have been living my life trying to get noticed and stuff and then you get these powers"
In that movie basicly the only time somebody notices him is if they bully him or something like that
Thats basicly how i feel. I feel like the brother. I have lived my life trying to get noticed. And now the only time im noticed is if somebody wants to bully me or hurt me.
I have lived my life trying to get noticed by people so that i wouldnt be picked on. Ive been trying youtube. That doesnt work. Nobody even looks at my channel. I was picked on because of my old channel was so crappy because i made a video where i explained more about myself and crap like that.
Thats the reason i dont like showing my face. Thats the reason i dont do vlogs.
I just want to be noticed in a good way.
I even tried being noticed in person by the people around me. It doesnt work though.
I dont know how people do it. People that are fake are the popular and liked people. The people like me that are real and actually show their real personality are the ones the are disliked.
I do like somebody. Her name is Emma. She is from Wentzville. Ive basicly been single for more than a month. But i really like this girl and i hope we end up dating.
I dont know what im doing wrong in this world. I just want my life to change a bit.
