The Man She Betrayed

27. The Tainted Memory

Clara

Six years ago

After the wedding, a driver drove us to this lavish hotel. Aaron's father had booked a honeymoon suite for us but the expensive decoration didn't amaze me as I was already grieving at my luck.

"Do you want to change first?" Aaron asked, his fingers laced into mine.

I nodded, too mentally exhausted to speak. Once I was inside the bathroom, I ripped the dress off my body, not caring about the tear I caused in the bodice. Once that damned dress was off, I sat down in the bath tub and ran the warm water.

Tears after tears spilled out of my eyes at the way I disappointed Ryan. He was right after all, it wasn't my duty to clean everyone's mess by sacrificing my happiness and future. But it was too late now, wasn't it?

I stayed in the bath tub for almost an hour, after which I dressed into tights and a sweater. I didn't want to seduce him, knowingly or unknowingly because I would die before letting him touch me.

I stepped out of the bathroom and looked at Aaron who had already changed into his pajamas and was now sitting on the bed cross-legged. Gulping, I sat down beside him and he took my hands in between his large ones.

"Aaron?" I tried to pull them away but his grip was strong.

"Don't worry Clara. I'm not doing anything." he assured me but it didn't make me relaxed. "I just want to give you our wedding gift." he said and I felt something in between his palm and mine.

He pulled his hand away, leaving the beautiful silver chain in mine. "Your mother told me that you don't like rings." he said and I nodded.

His hands once again touched mine and he pulled the wedding ring off. "Here." he passed the ring through the chain and handed it back to me, his fingers grazing my palm gently.

"Why?" I asked without looking in his eyes because something told me that I won't be able to handle the sincerity in those hazel pools. "What's the point of all this? Aren't we getting divorced?"

An awkward silence followed my words, broken by the muffled answer of Aaron. "Yeah. It will take some time in the transfer of money and all." he replied.

"How long?" I asked, feeling the hard texture of the chain in my fingers. Instead of wearing it, I put it inside the pocket of my sweater.

"A month." he whispered.

He won't divorce you Clara. He is so manipulative, he would make you fall in love with him and leave everything that matter to you behind.

Ryan's words boomed in my ears and tears once again gathered inside my eyes. He was right. I was stuck in this loveless marriage forever.

"Clara!" I heard Aaron's voice calling me but I was too lost in my thoughts to respond. He touched my hand to get my attention and I jerked his hand away without thinking.

"Um.. I... You should sleep. I'll take a walk." I said and stood up, picking my phone up in my hands.

"Do you... want me to come with you?" he said, blinking, a worried frown etched on his face.

"No. I just... I'm feeling suffocated here, inside. I need to... I need to go." I tried to assure him but it didn't look like I succeeded. I knew he wanted to follow me but he didn't, because I had already asked him not to.

He lay down on the bed as I turned the light off, the faint light coming from the balcony caressing his face. Something flickered inside my chest as I watched him, because my heart already knew what my mind hadn't realised yet, that I was going to do something I'll regret later.

While I left the hotel building and reached the park around it, my heart thumped hard against my ribcage. Nausea settled in my stomach and I fought the urge to puke.

Ryan's face appeared in front of my eyes, his smile, his heated gaze, his touch, the feeling of his skin against mine, the scent of his aftershave invading my nostrils, everything I had wanted, everything I desired.

No. I am not letting Aaron ruin my life.

My hands inadvertently went to my phone and I dialed Ryan's number. People around me were watching me curiously and I realised later that I was crying, tears flowing down my face like a stream.

"Hey." his smooth voice reached my ears and I muffled a sob.

"Ryan," I whispered, hugging the sweater around me. "Save me Ryan. T... Take me away from all this." my tone was of begging.

"Clara, what happened? Are you in the hotel?" he asked with worry dripping from his voice.

"In... In the p.. Park." I said between tears and then cut the call, clenching my fists tightly around the mobile.

I didn't know how long I stayed there and cried. I felt eyes on me, eyes of people watching me with worry, eyes of people watching me with amusement, eyes of people watching me with curiosity. But I didn't lift my head, not until I heard his voice.

"Let's go." Ryan said, wrapping something warmer around me, probably his coat. He pulled me up by gripping my shoulders and then kept me close to his warm body. We walked until we reached his car and he seated me in the passenger seat.

I was still crying, just the sobs and whimpers had stopped, leaving behind silent tears. A part of me was dying that day, in between the war of my conscience and my heart.

After sitting on the driver seat, he held my face in between his hands and kissed my wet cheeks. His mouth then shifted to my lips and he kissed me, softly at first, passionately later. My tongue gave up before the fight and I let him search every nook and corner of my mouth.

I didn't remember much after that. There was just vague memory of us moving in synchronisation in the back of his car. He then took me to a motel and I remember crying a lot that night, to the point when I finally succumbed to darkness.

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