Sink In To You

chapter three

chapter  three

(The important thing is not being afraid to take a chance. Remember, the greatest failure is to not try. Once you find something you love to do, be the best at doing it..)

My mother raised me with so much expectations... She grabbed every opportunity heads in her way just to proved that no one can tell about the future that even if  I'm only a pity bastard I can lift them away fom this ruthless poverty. She taught me how to be as prim as rich girls act, the reason why others always thought I'm also as rich as what they think, but the fact is that I'm just a girl born without a father to  recognize...In short isa lamang akong anak ng isa disgrasyadang babae. I was born with fair and white skin. I have a long brown wavy hair and a pair of chinky eyes and people sometimes call me tsinita dahil raw sa mukha akong Intsik na naligaw sa baryo nila... Though it sounds like natural to me, ikaw ba naman ang tawagin nito halos araw araw talagang masasanay ka nalang.

    Sa edad na labingtatlo, muling nag-asawa ang nanay ko. I refused her and begged her not to marry that drunkard and useless man, but she just said that maybe I'll just used to it and that he will definitely change if they got married.. And no wonder times fade so fast, they bore four children, and nothing changed  except that her husband gets even worst! We're poor and becomes even poorer if there's more than a word for that , I can't even pay for my  tuition even if I'm only studying in a public school.  We're struggling foy money and I've heard them fight every night which my mother didn't used to. She cried a lot and always cared about what to eat today and tomorrow... I pity her. She never scold me and shout at me when we were only two, and I adore her so much except from having that beautiful face... If she just
only listen we'll never suffer life as poor as hell!

  "Anak , hindi mo kailangang umalis kung gusto mo lang talagang mag-aral." my mother said while I am busy  packing up my things. Ito ang halos palagi nyang sinasabi sa akin na kung gusto kong mag-aral ay marami naman ditong mapagtatrabahuan. But sometimes if you're so sick and tired of living in a roof with a useless drunkard you'll just realized sometimes you need peace of mind and a piece of freedom. I need fresh air to breath at hindi itong masamang hangin na hinihinga rin ng walang silbi nyang asawa! Madalas gusto ko nalang umalis sa nakakaumay na lugar na ito, ang baryong to na naging parang kulungan na ng halos lahat ng mga hindi nakakatapos ng  pagaaral ay nag-aasawa nalang o pinag-aasawa nalang parang hindi na makadagdag pa sa palamunin ng pamilya nila. At iyon ang  pinaka ayokong mangyari sa akin.  I am smart and determined to achieve my goals in life. And I can say that I am one of those persons who was given with so much talents... I am very lucky and thankful for having that. And now that my aunt is offering a job in one of the cities in Manila I will never let that opportunity slip in my hands...

"Ma naman, hindi ba napag-usapan na natin'to? Aalis ako para habulin ang mga pangarap ko, ayokong manatili dito at baka dito pa ako mabulok bago pa ako umasenso." Napangiwi ako sa sariling pinagsasabi. I didn't mean to underestimate Province  but I just noticed that some of those who choosed to stick in such a dump place didn't have the chance to lift there way of living. Sa madaling salita, kung nanggaling ka na sa mahirap na pamilya, mas lalong maghihirap ka pa.

Bumuntong-hininga sya. I always saw her frustrated but not as worried as her right now..

"Kung ganun anak. Pagbutihin mo nalang ang pag-aaral mo... At sana hindi mo kalimutan na nandito lang kami. " I stopped and face her pity face.. The woman I admire the most is crying infront of me, I can't help but comfort her and hug.

  Ni minsan hindi ko pinangarap na magkahiwalay kami, sya iyong taong pinakahuli kong iiwanan dahil sya ang babaeng minahal ako at hinubog sa gitna ng aming paghihirap at kawalan.. But as time passed every decisions changed and perspectives becomes bigger, that I'd rather choose to leave her than rot in this poor province.