ROMANOGERS: And Then You

Chapter 1

 Half the population erased. No chance for any goodbyes. No redemption for the fight lost. Left are the ones who have to live with the loss. Everything feels emptier and everywhere feels lonelier.

Letting her guard down, Natasha tucks her bare face into her hands and lets out a quiet, small cry. Her eyes feel heavy and her heart is tired. She doesn't hear Steve walk into the room. He leans against the doorway and watches her for a moment.

"You know I'd offer to cook you dinner but you seem pretty miserable already."

Not even flinching, she quickly lifts her head up and blinks away her tears, though her face can't hide her weariness, she lifts up a smile to him, "You're here to do your laundry?"

"And to see a friend."

Stifling her tears, she speaks through her sad smile and crystal eyes, "Clearly your friend is fine."

Living in the city, Steve didn't live too far from the Avengers HQ where Natasha stayed. He wonders how she bares to stay there, everything is a constant reminder of the ones they lost. She's trying her best to be the glue for everyone else left, but she neglects the need to hold herself together.

Steve walks closer to her and sits in the chair right across from her. "You know, I keep telling everybody they should move on and grow. Some do... but not us."

They have been through so much together from strangers saving the world together, running as fugitives together, and now being the survivors of the snap together. Everything seemed to have happened in a blink of an eye with barely any time for a single thought to themselves, but somewhere in the middle of it all, they've gotten to trust and rely on each other the other Avengers couldn't even fathom. They came from complete opposite lives. Steve had a family, best friend, morals, a dedication to always be good, but Natasha grew up with a buried heart believing in a suffering world trained to be an emotionless assassin. Yet, something constantly attracts them to each other.

"I used to have nothing. And then I got this. This job. This family. And I was... I was better because of it. And even though... they're gone... Now, I'm still trying to be better." Her voice comes out tired, almost holding back the tears she won't let fall.

"We both need to get a life."

Her lips curve into a small smile. "You first."

Since moving back to Brooklyn where Steve grew up, he's finally had an overwhelming amount of time to think for himself. What did he want before he was tasked with saving the world? He wanted to be a good man. He wanted to love Peggy. His love for Peggy gave him the courage to become Captain America, but since then he's nearly lived another whole life and gone through unimaginable experiences... and looking back by his side stood Natasha. And since losing everyone, he realizes that he never wants to take for granted looking beside him and seeing her there.

Steve sits upright and move his body closer to the desk, his eyes never leaving Natasha's. They hold their gaze on each other, while he reaches out and gently grabs a hold of her hands. "Nat..." He squeezes her hands that are balled up between his. "You have to stop punishing yourself. You deserve the good things this world has to offer as much as anybody else."

Her eyes try to look away and her voice becomes shy and quiet, "Steve... you don't know all the things that I've done." She gates her own heart and keeps it in chains. She shines smiles and humors others, so no one can find the lonely tower she locks herself in. "You're Steve Rogers. Captain America. The symbol of a hero, the poster child for a good man," she sadly chuckles as she lists out their differences. "I'm... I'm what we used to have to stop. I used to be the mission. I was bad for the world... it doesn't own me anything."

Hearing her speak about herself like a monster breaks Steve's heart. He knows her more than that now, but all she chooses to see herself as is a monster. She was willing to risk dying trying to save everyone in Sokovia without hesitation. She has a beautiful broken heart that she believes is undeserving of any healing.

Steve looks right into her green eyes and says sincerely, "Natasha, you've done enough. You've thrown yourself on the line for your family, for a country of strangers, for an unforgiving world... for me. You are enough. This road to redemption has a finish line, you got to let yourself get there." Things slip through fingers like sand, so Steve isn't taking anymore chances. "So, what do you want for yourself?" He feels the intensity of his heartbeat. "Because I know what I want for myself." He leans his body over the desk and puts his hand behind her neck pulling Natasha in for a kiss.