WornL!fe

Bee

Holding this baby is killing me.

My hands were glowing which drew attention to me rather quickly.

"Elly... is that.. normal?" Indigo was by my side and he looked more nervous then I did.

"It's only ever done this once before. When Greed almost died." My eyes were glued to the lime green eyes in my arms. I felt nothing but innocence coming from Bee. His life had just started and his heart felt so pure. The longer I held him the deeper I saw. His soul was powerful. Inside was a tinge of darkness. It made me sad.

"Here." I gently handed the baby back to Singh who took her child carefully. The weight in my arms was lifted but they felt hollow. I've never held a newborn before.

It was strange. I thought I would be happy, my heart would light up. instead my head held dark clouds over my heart blocking the joy. I felt nothing but sorrow and worry.

I don't want to be my mother.

"Elly. Are you okay?" Indigo grabbed both of my hands. He pulled me towards him and turned me away from the few people surrounding Singh's bed. My voice wouldn't work. I tried to speak but only received the wine of my vocal cords dryly squeaking. "It's okay..." He aimed to comfort me, but it wasn't okay.

I yearn for children so badly but my fear might be stronger.

I tried to pull myself together quickly. I don't need any more reasons to be pitied. I shook my head and took a deep breath. Keeping a hold on one of Indigos hands I turned to the group.

"Sorry. I'm fine. Just never held a baby before." I smiled lightly and looked to Singh. "He's beautiful. And will have the best mother." Singh returned my words with a kind smile and tired nod.

"We should get going. Let her get some rest and time with Bee." Indigos grip on my hand was reassuring and comforting. I was grateful for him. I nodded and we gave our goodbyes as we exited.

The walk down the halls of the ward did not help my mood. Memories from after the battle clash returned and my body started hurting again. I picked up the pace and Indigo followed. I focused on the sound of my boots hitting the tile. Each step was a moment closer to getting out.

One two three. One two three.

I counted the sets as we pushed through the doors to the lobby. I felt a little better by the bustling sound of people. I zipped up my jacket and prepared for the brace out the cold.

Death apparently ran out earlier and no ones really sure what happened yet but blood still stood out against the pink snow. The sight just felt dark but it wasn't my issue to deal with. I'm fairly certain everyone felt deaths soul when he bolted out. It's faded so I'm hoping it ended okay. Turning away from the scene I followed Indigos pace across the street and towards home. The shack wasn't to well insulated but were working on it. The metal keeps it warm when it's sunny but there are a lot of things still needing to be done. It's like camping every night. The cold gets so much stronger at night but we find ways to stay plenty warm.

I still haven't told him about anything that happened all those years ago but at this point I know he knows. He's had to have asked around but I suppose that's okay. I don't know if I can relive that.

My mind drifted into a blur as we walked hand in hand. After a while we passed the building and Devins Cafe. Flora and faunas tree house was also in the area but was so covered in snow it looked like it hadn't been used in a while.

We passed the Diner Lars's Grandmother runs and turned down our road. The sound of the side walk under our feet changed to the crunching of beaten down snow.

"How you doing?" Indigos voice broke me from my mental numbness.

"Better. I just couldn't stop thinking about my mom." I looked to him and watched the breath curl in the air around his face.

"Your not your mother."

"I know. I just fear I'll be more like her then I want to." We fell silent for the rest of the walk home and I couldn't wait to face plant back into bed.

As soon as the door shut I ripped my boots off leaving my big fuzzy socks on. Indigo helped me with my jacket. I hung up both so they could dry and started walking towards our room. Indigo followed but as I touched the bed he grabbed my hand.

"I have a better idea." I tilted my head in curiosity. Better then laying in a warm bed?

He pulled me gently from my safe zone and held me close. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a music player of some sort. He pressed play. The song 'From Finner" by Monsters of Men began to play and he started swaying to the beat.

My heart picked up and a smile pulled at my face. I swayed with him and started singing to the lyrics. My socks slid against the metal floor as we moved around the room and off the rug. As Indigo spun me around a laugh bubbled from my stomach. We danced to a few more songs before collapsing onto the bed.

"That was out of the blue."

"So were you." I flushed as Indigo spoke. We really did meet suddenly. We connected over a need to fill loneliness, we bonded over needing someone, we fell in love because of who we really were.

"God I love you so much." The words passed my lips effortlessly.

"I love you."