Saitama has a kid!?

Chapter 5

I woke up before Saitama today and I usually get a signal for when he is about to wake up because he starts murmuring about random things and twitching, so I made him some coffee and did myself a glass of milk and watched him on the floor from a safe distance from him.

He sat up and has the face just like the scream from that piece of art and yelled. "Don't come asking to play rock paper scissors with a booger on your finger!" Saitama then finished and looked around to find me holding out a mug of coffee to him.

"Your dreams are getting weirder, last time it was a penguin learning to write on the back of a blue whale so he can go to Disney land that is on the moon." I told him the dream he shouted out about yesterday, and he gratefully took the mug from my hands.

"Uncle, do I have any other uncles?" I asked as I saw the news going on about a B class criminal called hammerhead and he is bald.

"No, why?" Saitama came in and stared at the tv.

"The whole group has shaven heads if you encounter any shaven-headed men on the street, please leave the area immediately." Numerous pictures of bald men came on to the tv.

"Well, looks like we are staying in today." I finished my milk and put the cup in the sink.

"Get changed Ava! We are gonna kick their ass!" Saitama yelled as he ran to change into his hero suit.

"Huh, why?" I questioned him.

"They stole my look!" He shouted.

"It's not a good look." I reminded him as I went to get changed, once I was done I found him by the door waiting impatiently.

Saitama threw me over his shoulder because he was too impatient to wait for me to climb onto his back and we headed into town. "Its one of them, they are kidnapping that little girl!" One man yelled.

"She is my niece!" Saitama yelled back.

"You look nothing alike!" Someone else yelled and Saitama ran to a building with a golden poop on top of it.

"Is that suppose to be a poop joke or do they think that actually looks good?" I asked as it blew up.

We ran into the woods to avoid people because they kept accusing Saitama that he is kidnapping me. He put me down once we found a man with a big black bodysuit on.

"You here to join the paradisers?" The guy asked Saitama.

"No, I'm just a hero for fun." Saitama answered. "My personal reason is to beat you up for stealing my look."

"Die!" The guy went to punch Saitama and it hit him, the force of it caused dust to fly up into the air.

"Well, I guess next I should-" He stopped talking from the shock of seeing Saitama still standing there with a disappointed look on his face.

"I thought it would be a good fight, but the design of that suit is lame." Saitama frowned.

"I never thought there would be someone lamer looking than you. The fire design on it looks like a five year drew it and you also look like you're wearing tires." I listed off some of the things that made the guy look lame, there are many more.

"You have no idea how hard it was for us to get these! You will be the first person I use the full power of this suit on!" He yelled and the suit emitted some red light around the fire deign and his suit made him look like he has more muscle than fat now. "Spin attack!" His arms rotated quickly.

Saitama caught both of his arms stopping them he then elbowed him in the chest and ran to me and covered my eyes. "Huh?" I said as I grabbed a hold of his arms.

"He's naked." Saitama stated.

"Thank you!" I let go of his arms.

"I just wanted to get out of working!" The guy panicked and gave us his excuse.

"Shoo, pervert!" I shouted at him.

"Just don't do anything bad from now on." Saitama added and I could hear the guy run off crying and Saitama took his hands off my eyes.

"Home then?" I asked, and he nodded we went in the direction we came from.

"Where is hammerhead?" We heard a new voice ask.

We turned to see someone that looks like a ninja. "He went that way buck naked." Saitama pointed in the direction the guy ran away in.

He threw something at us and I slowed it with my telekinesis and Saitama caught it. We saw its a kunai, next Saitama stopped a sword an inch away from his eye. "You got it wrong." Saitama tried to explain.

"How? You must have kidnapped that girl and your bald!" He retorted.

"She is my niece!" Saitama yelled.

"You look nothing alike." He commented and Saitama sighed.

"Come on, I'm that hero who is one for fun!" Saitama yelled at him.

"Never heard of ya." He responded honestly and Saitama slumped down.

"Look, this isn't important, you read two of my attacks, I can't let you go." He explained and teleported behind us.

"You just wanna test your attacks against me, I can see from your sweet smile." Saitama told him as he causally dodged an attack, I saw the guy's smile for a second.

"Yeah, sweet smile, like a little kid who wants to stab you to see a pretty red colour." I joked and the guy moved again.

He bounced all around us, but he was focused on Saitama, so I lifted up a tree and hit him with it. "What!?" He shouted as I hit him like he is a baseball. "I need to be faster." He bounced around again and went behind Saitama and tried to kick him.

"Can I go home?" Saitama asked surprising him and Saitama lifted his fist and the guy landed right on to it.

He jumped back and I think he died at the moment his balls connected with Saitama's fist.

"I'm speed of sound Sonic. I'm dedicating myself to training until I can defeat you and be able to dodge you, so tell me both of your names!" He yelled with trembling legs.

"Ava." "Saitama." We answered as we stared at him with pity.

"Next time I meet you, Saitama. I will defeat you and Ava you won't be able to hit me once!" He declared.

"I'm sorry about your balls!" I yelled to him as he ran off.