Falling out of love

Chapter 16

2 months till prologue

(Song reference in this chapter see if you can spot it.)

She could feel their gaze on her as she made herself a cup of coffee. Normally she would have waited until they left the room like she had been doing all month. It's been a month that she has been here, they would sign divorce papers tomorrow. You could say there was a lot of emotions in the air.

No one was able to officially forgive one another, most of the time Natasha spent trying to avoid them. She really had nothing to say to them, and the only reason she was there was that Steve was in and out of the hospital for check-ups, making sure he was taking care of himself, and so he was well enough to finalize everything.

She would have enjoyed the extra sleep that she was getting if it wasn't for the nightmares. Whenever she closed her eyes, she heard a babies cry of pain, the look on Yelena's face and she just couldn't sleep without seeing it. So coffee was her main use of surviving the restless nights and endless mornings.

Once her coffee was done she began walking away from the group making no eye contact, except a small smile to Thor. As she left she hear footsteps chasing after her, she figured she already knew who it was, and when he spoke her suspicions were confirmed.

"Natasha," He spoke, the name almost foreign on his lips. He hasn't called her that in ages. Natasha stopped but didn't turn to face him. "Can we talk?"

"I thought that's what you're doing right now Clint," Natasha said, usually it would have been a tease, however, there was no emotion in her voice right now.

"Please," he said. Natasha slowly turned her head to look at him before walking toward the balcony. Clint knew this was her willingness to take a step so he slowly followed in suit. Natasha took a seat near the edge.

"What do you want to talk about?" She asked not looking at him, but at the city, the people walking all the way down below.

"Natasha, I know you're angry. I know you're upset, but please know how incredibly sorry we all are," Natasha almost wanted to laugh, of course, she knew, but it doesn't change the fact that it hurts, it haunts her. No apology can stop that. "after that day... everything feels apart, it came crashing down on us and not even the Avengers save someone from that kind of danger. We were foolish, but we thought they would kill you, Natasha. I couldn't lose you like that, not to your past."

"Doesn't change the fact that none of you came to me." She said emotionlessly.

" We can't change our past actions, but we can make sure our future ones are better. These last couple of months I have had to sit back and watch our years of friendship slip away. I guess I was so hell-bent on killing Yelena because I save you from that place all those years ago and I know what they did. I regret what I did, not telling you that is, but if I had the choice to go back and kill someone who was even remotely responsible for hurting you." That melted her heart just a little bit.

"Nat, every time we fight it hurts. Trust me we have had plenty of arguments over the years. This is just different, we are barely talking yet alone friends. We used to be best friends and I am struggling a lot without you here by my side." He said. "I want to know what it will take for us to be back to where we were."

"I don't know Clint." She sighed shaking her head, trying really hard to keep her calm. "Fury tells me I need to move on, Hill hasn't apologized but I know she regrets it. Tony sent me a gift basket full of very expensive wines..." She didn't even mention Steve's attempts to surprise her with dinner and a movie, failed attempts but it was still cute. " But I just can't find myself to move on from..." her voice slowly faded out.