Broken (Prinxiety)

3

      TW: Mentions of a panic attack

After Virgil had managed to calm Patton, who was squealing because Virgil called him dad, they made their way to the kitchen. Patton made Virgil settle down in a chair, and began to hum as he grabbed the bowl of edible cookie dough. He put a spoon in it and handed it to the anxious side.

      Virgil began to eat it as Patton got out stuff to make hot chocolate. He filled a pan halfway with milk and set it on the stove. He was pulling out some cocoa powder when they heard a voice in the doorway.

      "Greetings Patton! Oh look, the emo nightmare is--" Patton whirled around, cutting Roman off. 

      "Cut it out, Roman! Stop being mean to my poor son. He hasn't done anything wrong!" 

      Virgil pulled his hood up, not wanting for Roman to see his tear-stained cheeks. It was bad enough that Patton had seen him having a panic attack, but for Roman to see how much of a mess he was after having it? It was embarrassing. 

      "Patton, are you crazy? You're talking about Virgil! All he does is hurt Thomas and create problems where there are none. How is that not doing anything wrong?" Virgil could practically imagine Roman's expression as he spoke. 

      Even though he would never admit it, Roman's worse hurt. It only confirmed what Depression had told him just minutes ago. Not that this was anything new. Virgil had always known about how the others felt about him. 

      "He's not hurting Thomas, he's trying to protect him! He just wants to make sure that nothing bad happens to him."

      "By making him afraid of his own shadow?" Roman sounded disgusted. "By making him worry about every little thing? By keeping him up because he remembers his past mistakes?"

      Virgil butted in before Patton could have a chance to try to defend him. "Patton, forget it. Thanks for trying to defend me, but I'll always be the bad guy to the others."

      "But kiddo--" 

      "Drop it." Virgil tried to sound as stern as he could. He could hear Patton sigh heavily. 

      Virgil began to munch on the cookie dough. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Roman moving closer. The creative trait settled down across from Virgil, sending a scowl his way. Viril just turned his gaze towards the table, hoping that Roman wouldn't get a good look of his face.

      Unlucky for him, he did. 

      Virgil nearly jumped as Roman suddenly gasped. "Wait...Virgil, have you been crying?" 

      Virgil didn't answer, and instead tugged his hood farther over his head. Great, now Roman will have another thing to hold against him. He should've just stayed in his room like he usually does.

      Roman frowned, looking towards Patton. "Pat, what's going on? What's wrong with Virgil?" Virgil nearly rolled his eyes at the concern he heard, which was obviously fake. Patton didn't seem to think of it as fake, though.

      "He uh..." Patton looked towards Virgil, as if asking him for permission to say what happened. Virgil sighed and gave him a slight nod, because what was the point in hiding the truth? "He had a panic attack. I helped him through it."

      Virgil spared Roman a small glance, and had to do a double take. He actually had a look of concern on his face, which made Virgil rethink his assumption that Roman wasn't concerned about him. 

      "Why didn't you tell us that you had panic attacks?" Roman's voice was soft. It almost made Virgil lower his guard.

      Almost. 

     "Why should I? It's not a big deal. And besides, all of you hate me. I bet even Patton does, despite how hard he tries to be friendly." Virgil couldn't allow Roman to see him as weak. "So why do you care? Are you planning on using it against me?"

     "No, I--"

      "Kiddo, that's not--"

      Virgil blocked out what they were going to say. He got to his feet, shoving his once-more trembling hands into his pockets. Without another word, he left and returned to his room, not bothering to look back at them. 

      He looked around briefly for his brother, and sighed as he didn't see him. He locked the door, just in case Patton tried to come talk to him, and settled down on his bed, curling up.

      Virgil kind of regretted walking away like that. But it was for the best. 

      Why should he let his guard down around them? It would only cause him pain in the long run. They didn't actually care about him. They were just pretending to care. 

      After all, why would they care about someone like him? He isn't one of them. He was a dark side before. Who's to say that he completely reformed? 

      Virgil decided that it was best if he just stayed in his room.