Broken (Prinxiety)

10

      Virgil covered his ears, trying to block out the sounds of Roman and Logan fighting. They were once again going at each other about how Thomas should spend his time, and it was driving him crazy. He could feel his anxiety levels rising with each passing moment. 

      "Thomas needs to follow his dreams!" Roman's voice was nearly at a yell. "If he doesn't do what he loves, then what will make his life worth living?"

       "But if he follows all his dreams, he won't be able to take care of himself well," Logan shot back. He didn't yell, but it was obvious that he was equally as frustrated over the situation.

      "So? He'll be just fine even if he doesn't take care of himself as well as he should!" Roman rolled his eyes. "He can have greater opportunities to advance in life if he just seizes the moment!"

      Virgil began to take deep breaths, trying to calm himself down. He was honestly expecting one of them to lash out, especially Roman. The thought sent a shiver down his spine.

      Roman reminded Virgil of his brother, Remus. They were both so outgoing and dramatic. Really the only difference Virgil could see was was what they believe and represent. Roman embodied more pure forms of creativity, while Remus represented the darker side of creativity. 

      Not to say that what Remus represented was inherently bad, but Virgil and everyone else saw him as bad. Not that he made the situation better for himself.

      "It is dangerous for him to stumble blindly through life in search for an opportunity that may or may not exist." It was obvious that Logan was struggling to keep his voice even. 

      "It's boring for him to do the same thing every day! It's like--" Roman cut himself off, glancing at Virgil. "How about we talk about this later?"

      "This is an important discussion," Logan said, running a hand through his hair. "We need to come up with a solution to the problem."

      Roman gestured towards Virgil. "We're giving Virgil anxiety by fighting. Let's go somewhere else to have this conversation. Why don't we go to Imagination?"

      Logan was silent for a moment, his eyes on Virgil, who had finally uncovered his ears. Finally, he gave a sigh, and nodded. 

      "Yeah, let's do that. But not right now, because I want to go check on Patton. He hasn't been out of his room yet, and I--er, am concerned about his absence."

      Roman smirked. "Aww, so you care about him?"

      Logan sighed softly. "Yes, but only as an acquaintance. I don't care about him in the way you think I do. I represent logic; I don't have feelings."

      "That's not true." Virgil internally cursed when he heard a slight tremor in his voice. "You do have feelings, you just don't show them as often as the rest of us. For some reason you like to hide behind your facade and pretend to be a robot. I think it's because you have no idea how to process your emotions or express them, so you choose to lock them away."

      Logan opened his mouth to say something, before closing it again. He averted his eyes, and Virgil realized that he may have been closer to the truth than he thought it would be.

      "I'm going to check on Patton." Logan left without another word. 

      "Wow...I think you were spot on with your guess," Roman commented, sounding surprised. "Anyways, I'm sorry that we scared you. We didn't realize that you didn't like our fighting."

      Virgil sighed softly. "No, you don't have to apologize. I shouldn't be so sensitive."

       Roman shook his head. "You weren't being sensitive! You couldn't help it; it's just a part of you. You can't help but get anxious over things."

      "I guess you're right." Virgil nodded. Even though he knew this was the truth, he couldn't help but feel as if he should try harder to not be that way. "It's gotta be annoying for you guys to have to deal with me, though."

      "It was at first." Virgil felt his heart sink as he heard this. "But now I realize that you can't help it. And besides, you mean well. You can't help but see the possible bad outcomes of a situation, and you try to protect Thomas."

      "Well, of course I want to protect him." Virgil rolled his eyes. "None of the sides want anything bad to happen to him." Except for one. But he wasn't going to mention him.

      "I know that." Roman sighed softly. It was at that moment that Virgil realized that he probably didn't know about Depression. Anyone who came into contact with him would know right away that he wasn't a good person. "But you just shot down most of my ideas, and I was taking that as a personal attack. It blinded me from seeing the real reason that you were saying no."

     "I--I'm sorry for shooting down all of your ideas." It was as if a weight had been lifted off his chest as he said this. "It's just...I had a harder time controlling my anxiety back then. I let it get the best of me and control me. I couldn't see that I was hurting Thomas in the process."

      Roman reached out, placing a hand on Virgil's shoulder. "Hey, at least one good thing came out of it. You're part of the group now, and you are better at managing those thoughts."'

      "I guess you're right." Virgil nodded. 

      Roman was silent for a moment, before getting a cheeky grin on his face. 

      "Hey, since I have nothing to do, and you probably don't either, let's go into Imagination! I have something I want to show you! The other two know about it, but I just realized that I hadn't showed it to you yet."

      Virgil hesitated for a moment, wondering if he should accept or not. After all, there were so many things that could go wrong. 

      He could do something stupid and have Roman hate him, he could make a fool of himself, he could make things awkward, something bad could happen to either of them, they could run into one of the dark sides (mainly Remus), and the list goes on and on.

      Virgil pushed back all of these thoughts. 

      "Yeah, sure."