Broken (Prinxiety)

7

     TW: Depression is back and he needs a chill pill like jeez just leave the poor baby alone. Also self-harm, so please don't read it if it's triggering. I understand that some of you still will, but it's really not healthy to put yourself in that mindset 

       Depression hadn't shown up for a few days, and it was starting to scare him. Virgil had become jumpy, expecting his brother to show up at any second. His anxiety grew the longer time went on. 

      His jumpiness was making the other sides be on edge.  They could tell that something was wrong, but they weren't quite sure what it was. 

      It wasn't until almost a week had passed that Depression showed up once more. By this time Virgil was a nervous wreck. When he had walked into his room and caught sight of his brother leaning against a wall with his arms crossed, he had actually let out a small shriek. 

      Depression rolled his eyes at the sound. "You're as dramatic as ever, I see. I mean seriously, what's the big deal? It's only me."

      Virgil took a deep breath, hoping that none of the other sides would come to investigate his shriek. He didn't want them getting involved with what was going on between him and Depression. 

      "What do you want?"

      Depression chuckled dryly. "Oh, I haven't forgiven you quite yet. I want to make your life a living hell for as long as I can. You know, this could've all been avoided if you would've just allowed me to get close enough to the main sides so that I could take over."

      "Do you really think I would just surrender them and Thomas over to you?" Virgil sounded braver than he felt. "I know what would've happened if I allowed you to do what you wanted. Unlike you, I actually care about them. I seek to help, while you only seek to destroy."

      "You may care about them, but do they care about you?"

      Virgil opened his mouth to respond, but Depression cut him off. "No, they don't, so don't try to pretend that they do.  The only reason they keep you around is that they know that Thomas needs you. If they had the chance, they would get rid of you in a heartbeat."

      "Then why would they decide to become friends with me?" Virgil's voice was small. 

      Depression walked closer to Virgil until they were face-to-face. There was a grin on his face, one that made Virgil shiver. "Because they pity you." He said this as if it was obvious. "They only started acting friendly towards you once they found out about your panic attack. Well--besides Patton. He doesn't really count, though; he tries to be friends with everyone."

      Virgil looked away. He wanted to deny what Depression was saying, but he knew that there had to be some truth to his words. It did make sense. After all, Roman had been pretty rude to him right before he saw that Virgil had been crying.  

      Depression placed a hand on him, and Virgil felt a certain numbness fill him. He would've been anxious about it if it weren't for the effect his brother's touch had on him. It was as if he had made him completely devoid of feelings. He couldn't even bring himself to feel bad about himself. Why should he even bother? It was too much work. 

      "They don't care about you." Depression's words broke through the emptiness, causing a single feeling to blossom within him.

      Melancholy. 

      Depression was right. They did pity him. 

      "You know that you will never fit in with them." He knew. "They could never forget who you once were." That was obvious. "They think you're paranoid. It bothers them that you always panic about what could go wrong, and they hate that Thomas needs you. You just get in their way."

      Virgil had already known this. He had tried his best to push this away, though, to deny that any of it was true. All of his self-loathing and insecurities resurfaced. This drowned out everything that was happening around him. 

      When he finally managed to push back these feelings, he saw that he was in the bathroom, holding a pocket knife in one hand. He just stared numbly at the splatter of red on it.

      Blood. 

      It took him a few moments to register the pain in his left arm. His hands began to tremble, and he dropped the knife. He could hear Depression laughing behind him. 

      "Look what you've done! You couldn't handle the truth, so you've gone and hurt yourself. How pathetic." If Depression was any other side, Virgil would've made a snarky comment about how much of a hypocrite he was. But he wasn't, and Virgil was afraid of making him angry. 

      Virgil turned, feeling blood trail down his wrist. A few droplets hit the floor. "Leave me alone, Res." His voice was hollow even as he used his old childhood nickname for his brother. "Please, just leave me alone..."

      Depression's grin wavered a bit at the nickname. He quickly covered this up by huffing and rolling his eyes. "Yeah yeah, whatever. I'll be back for you, you know. You better watch your back." With that, he disappeared.

      Virgil just stood there, trying to wrap his mind over what had happened. His tremble grew worse and worse to the point of him almost dropping the knife again once he tried to pick it up. He washed it off before gently cleaning the fresh cuts on his arm. 

      After that, he made his way to his bed, settling down on it with a soft groan. Tears started to form as he thought about what Depression had told him. He silently cursed and wiped his eyes as they began to fall. God, he really was pathetic.

      It was better for his brother to keep his focus on him, though, he decided. Because he knew how much havoc Depression could cause if he managed to get the other sides out of the way and take control of Thomas. 

      It was better if he was the only one that suffered.