leave it all down here
forget the horror here
leave it all down here
it's future rust and then
it's future dust
-spanish sahara (foals)
billie
madeleine harper's funeral is a week after her death, held in a small church in the outskirts of london.
she deserved so much more than this.
finneas agrees to go with me. he knows how much she meant to me, and he knows i wouldn't be able to face going alone.
he's in a suit, and im in a black skull hoodie.
what else could be more fitting?
as we walk through the rusted iron gates into the graveyard, rowan and rei can be spotted from a fair distance away, kneeled over a freshly-upturned mound of dirt.
that'll be maddie's grave, then.
i look up at finneas, and he gives me a small, sad smile.
"i'll wait here," he says quietly. i look down at the small bundle of white roses in my grasp before nodding a small nod, and walking off towards them.
rowan looks up as he hears my footsteps approaching.
"you made it," he murmurs, standing up.
"how could i not?" i reply, tears threatening to spill out of me. i swallow them back.
"billie," says a small, sad voice from below my waist as arms wrap around my legs.
"hi, rei," i say, ruffling her hair.
i sit down on the cold, hard ground beside rowan. we sit in silence for a while. then i place the white roses on top of maddie's grave.
it's hard to believe that she's really right next to me. she's right there, it's just i'll never be able to touch her again.
that hurts.
"i miss her, rowan," i say in a small voice. i feel so lost without her.
where are you, maddie?
"i miss her too," he sighs. there's a long pause before he adds something. "she was in love with you, you know."
"i know," i murmur.
and then i add more quietly,
"i loved her too."
broken
/ˈbrəʊk(ə)n/
adjective
(of a person) having given up all hope; despairing.
"he went to his grave a broken man"
synonyms: defeated, beaten, vanquished, overpowered, overwhelmed, subdued
she went to her grave a broken girl.
•••
suicide hotline numbers:
uk: 116 123
ireland: 116 123
usa: 1-800-273-8255
canada: 1 800 456 4566
australia: 131 114
philippines: 2919
don't do a maddie. thas not good
if you're not feeling great, fuckin reach out to someone. talk. don't kill yourself.
this whole story was a vent. a vent, and a tribute to the people i miss. don't take it too seriously
-es♥
YOU ARE READING
beautiful broken things | billie eilish
Fanfiction"if she doesn't know im broken... she won't try to fix me." **trigger/dark themes warning** (lowercase intended)
