We are better than this...(Amephil book 2)

i just want to be with you...

America POV:

I dunno what happened to me...

I just don't know!

Just seeing Philip with another person and especially holding hands with them...

something just snapped inside of me.

as my chest twist and as my throat seal up forcing to stopping myself on saying something insulting to Brunei...

It's really hard not to...

As we walked out of the cabin and to the outside beach, Philip was trying to catch up to me on how fast I was walking.

But I stopped between the cabin and the beach.
As the moon keep invading us with it's a light source.

I finally look back at Philip who's bearing a confused expression "Ame what's wrong? What did you call me for?" his concern voice rang like a siren inside of my thoughts. 

I just...

I just wanted to...

I breathe in, I was finally calming down as I heard his soft voice...

It's like a calming pill to me and...
I don't know why is addictive...

"Sorry about that Philip I..." I trailed off not knowing what excuse I should say...

I never thought of that...

I just wanted Philip not to be with him alone...

I just felt something on my soul that I felt so distasteful on...

"I just...wanted to be with you for a while," I said to him.

I looked away as I felt myself blush slowly...

I felt a twist and pull on my heart and stomach as I nervously look down...

He just stood there looking at me with wide eyes but yet he looked at me concerned...
"Is there something between you and Brunei?" he asked quietly.

I look back at him quickly shaking my head with a guilty smile stamp on my face thinking for an excuse to say...
"no-no I just think maybe...we should talk again "I nervously said.

I realize that I'm still holding Philips's hand.
I was about to let go but...

as I felt his soft warm hand holding into mine...
I can't help but reject the idea of letting him go...

I just want him to be with me and I can't help but feel selfish because of it...

I felt my face heat up...

It felt so compatible together and I don't want to let go...

" Ame?" he called out for me.

I let go fastly and the once warmth and softness on my palm and fingertips disappears...

It felt cold...

"Sorry Philip." I mumbled, "I was just thinking..." I said looking at the white sand below me...

"No, it's okay ame" he smiled softly "if you have something against Brunei it's okay to tell me I won't judge," he said calmly.

"I don't have something against Brunei Philip" my shoulder slump a little and sigh "I just want to be with you for a moment," I said sweating a bit...

After what I heard what he said on the balcony I can't help but want to keep him safer...

As Philip stared at me for a moment I can't help but feel embarrassed...

"You know...theres a lot of country wanting to hang out with you and not only me..." he chuckled but...not in a happy or relief way...

"What do you mean?" I said a little slowly...

He looked at me a little sadly and I felt a hurtful pang in my heart.

"There are more important countries who deserve your attention America..." he shrugged "you should talk to them more besides" he chuckled...

"I'm not worth your time when I know very well I always get your attention..."

I felt my eyes widen on the back of my sunglasses...

'I don't deserve him...'

That sentence echoes loudly into the head...

Why are you talking to yourself like this Philip?

"I...should be going now," he said quietly passing by me with a glance.

But I grabbed his arm fastly but gently stopping him by his track...

He didn't look at me...

"Tell me Philip...please...tell me what's wrong?" I told him pleadingly...

He was quiet for a moment but he looked back at me with such an angelic but heart-wrenching smile.

It's cruel to see him like this...

"I told you I'm fine Ame," he said lightly...

He took off his arm away from my grip and continue his walk...

As I heard the sand crunching beneath his feet became quieter and quieter he disappears before my sight.

I just stood there...

Unmoving...

My breathing became slower but my heart is beating wildly.

My head is spinning so badly that it hurts...

I want to run after him...

I really do believe me...

But something tells me if I do that, things will get even worse...

But it's so hard not to...

God, it's so hard seeing him like this...

It Hurts...
It really does...

So I sat down from the soft sand and think.

God think...

If things will be alright...

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Sorry if it's a short chapter I'm quite busy with another book.

I hope you like this chapter though...

( guys can you criticized me? i want to do better at writing)