Dear Journal...

Very Truly Yours: The Final Chapter

Hey there, reader. 

I've decided that this will be my final chapter in this work. No, not because this book has an endless saga of emotions that needs to end, but the reason simply being that I feel that this chapter in my life is closing. It's coming to an end and I can feel the doors being sealed behind me. I've been through a lot in the passed five years, I as well as you can definitely say that. There were even things that I haven't put into this journal that I'd rather not make public. The important thing though, is that I am in a better place now more than ever. Yes, I haven't had the best of "luck" with who I choose to date, or familial predicaments, however I have learned a different lesson from each and every one of those situations, and it has gotten me to manifest a better future for myself---where I am today. I got to participate in a program at the richest law firm in America as of right now in one of its Manhattan locations. I re-met my best friend at the high school that made me feel at home. I've been accepted to my dream college of two or three years now----an HBCU. And most importantly, I love myself more than I ever have. I know what I'm worth, and I'm not letting a blind son of a bitch give me less than I am! Not anymore.

Don't get me wrong, though. My lost loves mean everything to me; just in a different way now. If it weren't for them I would probably be in a different mind state; now would that state be better or worse? Who knows, I just know I'm happy with the one I am in right now to improve and thrive with. My mind is no longer my enemy, it is my foundation and has been all along, and if it is weak I let weak individuals destroy me. But my lost love has only made me stronger.

Bozo,

Sweetpea,

dreamboy

Es tu "luz de su vida"

Your teddybear

It's "Hoops"

The bittersweet memories we had are proof that I have forgiven, but never have forgotten you.

For I will always hold a piece of you with me 

Wrapped around my fingers

Opened up to me

For I leave you in a different state

But I carry your memory in my heart, forever loved

Yet forever gone

I'm moving on to the next chapter in my life; four years at Morgan State University. I'm growing up in every way I can to be happy with myself

With my life

I have already come such a long way since eighth grade in middle school. And I will go farther. The only direction I'm moving in is upward and onward. I move in less than two weeks and I couldn't be more anxious about leaving this godforsaken city yet excited to begin my adventure on the path to my many successes in life. I couldn't be any happier to even be able to live one of my biggest dreams in a little while, so much so it moves me to tears. There's nothing to do but advance from here and give my written daydream a shot:

"Inside a car, or a bus

On the right side

Driving through PA, watching it pass by me

It's the middle of the night

And as 'Guardian Angel' plays, surrounding my ears

Reaching the bridge after the second verse

Daylight slowly emerges

Starting a new chapter in life

Never wanting to look back"

- February 14, 2019

So, Egypt, babygirl, it's time to close this book.

Thank you for reading "Dear Journal," my loyal readers.

Very truly yours...

Farewell.

~ E

AKA: "The Golden Girl" ~