Once Before

1 - Home

The endless blue that was eternally accompanied by the sound of waves clashing upon itself, paired with the distant screeches of seagulls that flew not far above it, hugged my senses like a thick blanket of reminder that I was home. Along with the smell of sea salt and the cold, the unforgiving breeze grazed against my skin, sending slight tingles up my arm.

As inviting as the sea water once was when I was a child, the sway of it only intimidated me even more now. I stood my ground, a safe distance from the treacherous water, away from the memories the ocean and I shared.

Amelia understood my buried trauma of deep bodies of water. She was there when I had nearly drowned,  she stood by my side as I was rushed into the hospital, and she held my hand as I glanced in the mirror at my half shaven head - a result of the surgery to treat the injury that had cost me a portion of my memory. 

Instead of asking me to face my fears - as many had before - she simply went ahead to dip her toes by herself as a figure in pale red sweater crept closer to her, before wrapping his arms around her waist and lifting her up.

I was never jealous of seeing two of my friends so intoxicated with one another, but countless times I found myself feeling sad - perhaps even lonely - as I look at them from the distance. My heart ached, longing for something I cannot identify. Maybe an embrace of someone I've never met or a memory of somewhere I've never been.

"Someday, Oliver, someone's going to mistake you as an abductor and heaven knows what happens then," I chuckled as the pair walked towards me arm in arm.

"Good to see you back Clems!" He exclaimed, giving me a quick hug. "Care for some tea?"

"Sounds like the best idea you've had in the past decade," I nodded.

"So... shall we go for a swim this weekend? I heard the sun will shine the whole day, and the others are excited to see you as well!" Oliver asked.

"It nearly killed me the last time, so I think I'll pass," I shrugged, smirking at Amelia and Oliver as the latter turned pale.

"Goodness, I'm so very sorry!" He stuttered, "I can't believe it slipped my mind..."

"Oh stop!" I giggled, "You're making it too easy, I'm only kidding! I'll go with you guys but I'd prefer to stay dry the whole day, thank you very much."

For the remaining journey back to town, the three of us talked and joked around like the bunch of foolish people that we were back in school, reminiscing bits of memories scattered here and there from the old days as the two of them filled me in with the latest stories from our dear little town.

Being away for six years - and only coming back now - have made me realize how much time have passed, and how much things have happened since then. 

As we walked through the scenic lone road situated in the middle of the open grassland, a long dirt path, sheltered from the sky by the ancient trees that lined it, came into view.

At the end of the road, a glimpse of the estate that lies beyond it could be seen, though ever so slightly - always so distant from view and from the rest of the world.

"Does Meryl and Tim still live there?" I asked them, motioning to my left.

"Clemmie, I can hardly think of a reason why they wouldn't be. Tim would inherit his father's title and estate someday, I think that's a perfectly good reason to stay in their holy ancestral fortress," Amelia shrugged.

"Oh right, so I gather they're in there as we speak? It's been a while since I've seen them."

"I heard Tim's in London, helping Lord Myerscough with his printing business, but Meryl's been back for almost a year now, helping around I'm guessing," Oliver replies.

"How nice for them," I sighed, "Come on guys, it's starting to get cold and tea's waiting!"

---

"Can I have three cups of English Breakfast and three scones please, Mrs. Green. Oh, and extra jam and cream as well," I chirped as Mrs. Green nodded kindly, writing down the order and heading towards the kitchen behind the counter. 

The tea room is as toasty as it had always been in my memory, perfectly comfortable as it had never been full to the brim with people, nor was it ever empty as well. Filled with comfortable sofa chairs and situated at the corner of our town square, going to Mrs. Green's tea shop had become a sort of entertaining tradition and a routine altogether for the people of Ashford.

As I wait for my tea by the edge of the counter, a silvery voice called out my name, sounding very familiar in the back of my mind before I realized whose it belonged to and turned around to face the source of the voice.

"Meryl?" I exclaimed, as she walked towards me with an older lady whom I did not recognize.  Though she did seem enthusiastic to run into me, I did not miss the surprised look she had on her face - which resulted in her jumping back slightly as she took in my appearance - when I turned around to face her, before it was quickly replaced by another wide grin. 

"Hello Elsie! where have you been?" She asked, giving me a quick hug before I could even register what was happening.

"Away... but I'm back for good this time, and I heard you are as well?" I asked.

"No place like home I suppose," she shrugged. "Oh how rude of me! Clemmie, this is my great-aunt Iris. Grammy, this is my friend Clemmie - Clementine Atwood. She goes to school with Tim and I, but she was in my year."

"Hello m'am, it's very nice to meet you," I reached out to shake her hand, and she took it tenderly.

"It's a pleasure to meet you as well Clemmie," She smiled, though her eyes were scrutinizing. "Dear me, don't you look an awful lot like someone I know."

"And who might that be, if you don't mind my asking m'am?"

"Someone, well...I don't know who exactly - to be fair - but I've seen her many times," She explained vaguely, giving me no clear explanation as to who this person may be. It must be someone from out of town, as there was no one in town that I did not know of - and none of them looked like me. 

I simply nodded at her, masking my confusion and slight intrigue. Just as the conversation started to die down, Mrs. Green showed up with a tray of mugs and scones. I took the tray in my hands before nodding to the pair of ladies.

"I should go, my friends are starving you see... but I guess I'll see you around then, it was lovely meeting you m'am." I told them, carefully taking the heavy tray into my hand as I tried to keep my eyes on them. 

The pair bid their goodbyes and went ahead to place their orders as I walked away towards the sofa set by the edge of the shop, just below the dirty skylight, where my friends had been waiting and undoubtedly eavesdropping on the unexpected conversation.

"Just give me a minute to put this down and then I'll tell you what happened," I answered their question before they could even ask, earning a satisfied look from the couple.