Rainbows and choices

9

'You're back? Why didn't you come to find me?' Devo asked somewhat angry. 'I, uh, I searched for you, but I couldn't find you and then I found them and I thought I'd say hello.' I said quickly. It wasn't entirely true, but with a bit of luck he believed it. Devo raised an eyebrow. 'Maybe.' I added softly. Devo laughed. 'Do you really think I would be angry about that.' He said. 'We can tell you everything and you will believe it.' He also ran into the lake and hugged me. I had to flap my wings under water so I wouldn't drown. 'I've missed you.' He said softly into my ear. 'I've missed you too.' I said. 'We've all missed you.' Gallus said.

We decided to go back to the shore and continue to picnic. 'What happened here?' Devo Asked. 'Maybe we got caught up in a food fight.' Silverstream said. 'Waste of cupcakes.' Gallus said. 'Don't worry. I've brought more.' I said while I took out the 2 boxes of cupcakes that I had put down. 'And you are lucky that I went to get extra apple juice from sweet Apple acres. Otherwise there was not enough for all of us.' Devo said. Soon we were sitting on a blanket eating cupcakes and drinking apple juice. 'We really missed you.' Said Ocellus. 'Yeah, I read that in the letters.' I said. 'Why didn't you ever answer any of our letters?' Asked Sandbar. 'My mail was intercepted. I  received all the letters only yesterday.' I said. 'Why didn't Pony send a letter herself?' Asked Yona. 'I couldn't.' I answered. 'Nonsense. I explained to you how that dragon flame worked.' Said Smolder. 'They have confiscated some of my things. I only got everything back yesterday. 'I explained. 'Not Yona's sword, right?' Yona asked disbelieving. 'I'm afraid so.' I said. 'That seems strange to me. An air force is a kind of an army. Why should you not use a sword in an army?' Sandbar asked thoughtfully. 'That doesn't make any sense.' Devo agreed. 'You obviously don't know anything about flying.' Said Smolder. Yona, Sandbar and Devo looked at Smolder without understanding. It was Gallus who replied. 'How do you think we can fly quickly and skillfully if such a heavy sword pulls us down?' He said.

'It does not matter. You know everything that happened here through our letters. What has happened to you?' Silverstream asked. All eyes looked curiously at me. I was very reluctant to lie to my friends, but I had no choice. 'Nothing special.' I said evasively. 'How many friends do have you made there?' Asked Ocellus. 'None.' I said truthfully. 'There must be someone. Who else would you talk to if you were not on a mission or had to train? ' Asked Gallus. 'No one. After working hours everyone went to his room and did his own thing there.' I said, shrugging. 'Pony was all alone?' Yona asked sadly. 'And during lunch. With whom did you sit during lunch?' Asked Devo. 'We were seated by rank during lunch.' I told them. 'Cool, what rank did you have?' Asked Smolder. 'Well the ranks didn't have names.' I said. ' Then how did you know your rank?' Asked Ocellus. 'When somepony of the higher rank invited you to his table, you knew that you were promoted. Shortly before or after, you were or will be changed tasks. If they sent you away from your table, you knew that you were relegated and then you had to go back to your previous task and your previous table.' I explained. 'And wasn't there anypony who liked you a bit?' Asked Devo. 'No, it was every pony for themself there.' I said in a tone that the rest might interpret as sad, but which actually had no emotion at all. 'Wait, what?' Asked Sandbar. 'Why do you think that?' Asked Smolder. 'I don't wanna talk about it.' I said. 'I'm sure the others didn't mean it that way.' Gallus said. 'Pony might not understand what other ponies meant.' Yona said. 'I don't wanna talk about it.' I repeated. 'But maybe ...' Ocellus began. I jumped up furiously. 'I DON'T WANNA TALK ABOUT IT!' I shouted so loudly that they had to be able to hear it to the other side of Ponyville. Ocellus cowerded in shock. I saw fear in her eyes. It didn't bother me. When I saw the others looking at me confused, I took control of my breath again and turned around. 'I'm Sorry, I should go.' I said softly. I spread my wings and flew back to my room.

A moment later I was thinking in the grass. I had missed grass in the Rainbow factory. Suddenly I heard voices talking. They were my friends. Apparently they didn't know I was there. Probably because of the bush that blocked their view of me. 'I've never seen Black Blue lose control like that.' Silverstream said worriedly. 'Did you see her eyes? You could read pure anger in that.' Ocellus said and she shivered at the memory. 'I know Black Blue. She has a chill character. I never knew she could be so angry at something so small.' Devo said. 'Maybe something happened there that hurt her feelings, so she didn't want to talk about it. Maybe that's why she reacted so hard. Because what happened has left a deep impression.' Silverstream suggested. 'That makes sense.' Said Smolder. My friends walked past my hideout towards the bedrooms. I waited 5 minutes, then I followed them and went to bed.

At least, I tried that. It looked like my night wouldn't be very different from my nights at the Rainbow factory. From the moment I crawled into my bed, my emotions engulfed me again. I realized what I had done all those months. I remembered Snow Stars shouting and howling. While words echoed through my ears. First Snow Stars voice. "You're a monster!" Then the voice of Ocellus. "Did you see her eyes? You could see pure anger in that." Then Scootaloo's voice. "You have beautiful eyes." I remembered the fear in Ocellus' eyes if I had shouted at her. Slowly that image changed to the fear in Snow Star's eyes. The fear I had seen so many times. When I screamed at her, when I locked her up, when I cut off her cutie mark and when I hung her on the machine. I woke up. My bed was wet with cold sweat and tears. I shivered. It was the middle of the night. My room door flew open and my friends came in. They looked worried. 'Everything ok? We heard you scream.' Asked Smolder. While Gallus laid a blanket over me. 'II don't want to talk about it.' I cried softly. 'That's not necessary.' Devo said and he put a hoof on my shoulder. 'Pony shouldn't talk. We here to comfort pony.' Yona said and she also put a hoof on my shoulder. My friends stayed with me until I stopped crying. 'Thanks. But now we should all go to sleep again. Tomorrow is a school day.' I said. My friends gave me one more hug before they left for their own room. I locked the door behind them. Knowing myself, I would cry for many more nights. My friends didn't always have to comfort me.