My Life in High School...

WTF

As the school year went on Jojo got on my nerves more and more everyday. Why, I kept thinking to myself, is he not the person that said he wanted nothing to do with me!? I then made it my mission to avoid him at all costs. Well because of that I began to ditch school. Specifically my first, third, and my seventh periods. My first period was Math and I honestly just stopped going because I was too tired to function. My third period was English I stopped going because Jojo was in it and I just didn't want to deal with him. And my seventh was because of all the issues with the curriculum. Seventh period was ROTC, my sergeant would pick on me for what seemed like no reason. If he had one I was unaware of it. Anyway also because I was unable to accomplish anything, I wasn't allowed to contribute. I was the First Sgt of the company, I was a part of the top three, therefore I should be allowed to have some say in what happens. However both my company commander and my XO took control and wouldn't let me do anything. And when I tried they would pull rank and shut me down. So eventually I began hiding in the corner no longer trying. And soon after that I just gave up and stopped going. I hated it because I used to love the program but I just couldn't figure out what to do. I flourished in my other classes though. Soon I started to work hard in my English ignoring Jojo. And I started going back to Math. And of course I aced it. I'm great at school but for some reason I get caught up in my head and just shut down. While I was putting my school life back together as fast as I possibly could, something had to come up to start some personal drama in my life. And of course it had to involve Jojo. He decided one day to just randomly text me and ask if I'd have sex with him. Like huh? Yes that's right the guy who dumped me and then said he wanted absolutely nothing to do with me just asked me to have sex with him. Well I wanted to know why so instead of immediately saying no i began to question him. Remember I also have a boyfriend at this time, Bradley. So I eventually found out his reasoning, he said that he just always wanted to know what it would feel like to be with me in that way. Which isn't bad considering I had thought of it many many times before. I just never thought to ask. Well of course I turned him down. I was with Bradley why would I hurt him for someone who hurt me? Well after about the 8th time of Jojo asking I said yes.....even while dating Bradley. Now before I even get into this part I want everyone to know that this right here is a regret I wish everyday I could take back. Anyway so one Sunday I met Jojo and this is gonna sound nasty but we did it in my car behind the weird little shopping center by my school. Anyway It was awful. You know how you hear of women faking an orgasm? Well it was like that except I faked everything. I just wanted him to get off me from the moment it began. After the fact I thought of Bradley..... I couldn't tell him I thought. I couldn't hurt him. I couldn't bare to lose him too. So I hid it from him until about a week after it happened....

I broke down and I told him. I told him everything. I could hear the pain in his voice as he questioned me. He kept asking why. And I repeated it over and over again. I wanted to know what it was like to be with him. I had betrayed the most loyal person I know for a fuck boy who had tor my heart out the summer before.... What was wrong with me? Half of me wanted Bradley to break up with me because I deserved it, but the other half wanted forgiveness. Bradley told me he would think and let me know his decision but I needed to give him time....I owed him that.. The whole time I was afraid of the answer.