Ash's POV
The door opened quickly as Isobel walked in the next morning, "Hey, Ash, have you seen Alex-- oh..." she caught off guard when she found him in my bed yet again. It wasn't that she minded, she just had probably thought that we had stopped, especially since we hadn't been doing it all that often anymore lately .
"Well then," she continued before walking out of my room, keeping the door open as well this time, "it's time to get up."
Alex stirred underneath me, haven't been as shocked by his mum suddenly bursting in. He was probably used to it as he never really turned on his alarm and depended on other people to wake him up. I, on the other hand, was not used to it at all -- my alarmclock was always on, and I was up before people could even think about walking into my room. That day, however, it hadn't gone off at all.
Anyway, that was just a small detail. My arm was still lying across Alex's chest, and my head was resting comfortably against his shoulder. After the events that had happened the evening before, we had fallen asleep like this just enjoying each other's presence and not saying a word -- bare in mind that it wasn't that long until we both fell asleep. Still, you're allowed to think of it as some beautiful romantic gesture.
I pushed myself up and looked down at Alex's sleepy face, giving him a small grin before leaning back down to give him a kiss to fully wake him up. I didn't have much experience with kissing guys (having only kissed two guys), but I knew there were different types: people who were great kissers, and people who were great kissers while making it feel right as well. Alex was the latter. I didn't know what came over me when he had suddenly kissed me, but I knew that it was the right thing, that I shouldn't pull away. Sure, I freaked out a little when he started hovering over me, but I couldn't do anything about that. I was just afraid. But when he let me climb on top of him instead, I knew this was better, this was what it was supposed to be like: comfortable and trusting.
"G'morning." Alex said in a raspy voice and he gave me a goofy grin, reaching up to move the hair acting like a curtain, behind my ear. Just the sight of him made me happy. Nothing about him was perfect, yet that just made him even better. His serious case of bedhead only made me laugh while his eyes were squinting from the bright light of my open curtains.
But that was when I realised that what I had shrugged off as a small detail before, was actually something a lot more serious. Instead of going to kiss him again, which was my original plan, I shot upright and pulled the duvet off me, checking the bottom sheets for the possible disaster. Luckily, nothing had happened, but I knew it wasn't over yet.
"I need you to do something for me," I looked at the guy I was sharing my bed with, "I need you to get me some clothes -- underwear and all -- give them to me, then leave my room and let me rush to the bathroom."
He raised one eyebrow at me, but sat up slowly nonetheless, "umm, ok? Why?"
"Just please do it!" I begged him, already dreading what was to come. Not only hadn't my alarm gone off in the morning, but it also didn't go off during the night. But, Ash, why have an alarm on for sometime in the middle of the night? Well, I'd like to remind you that I was going through a medically induced abortion, meaning that what was going on was worse than what my period was normally like. It was not going to be pleasant. At least I hadn't stained the bedding.
After Alex had given me stuff to wear (he kept asking me if I was sure I wanted him to look through my underwear drawer, and he did his best not to look at all the options), he left my room to get changed in his own. When I heard his door close, I grabbed the pile of clothes and ran as quickly as I could, without slipping of course, to the bathroom, slamming the door behind me. As soon as I went to the toilet, all hell broke loose, as you could probably imagine. There was nothing I could do and I gave up trying to clean up, deciding to just go straight into the shower instead.
What didn't help either was that Alex tried to come in while I was washing myself. I literally screamed at him to get out. It's one thing to walk in on a girl in a shower, another thing to walk in on somebody having sex on the shower, but walking on in a girl while she's on her period (or in this case practically having a miscarriage) was a completely different thing. Alex, of course freaked out a little, not understanding why I was suddenly shouting at him like that, but he still let me be. Everything would have been so much worse if he actually came in and got mad at me for yelling at him. I couldn't even imagine the embarrassment I would feel then. This was already bad enough for me.
I only apologized when we were in the car to school. The silence between us was getting was too awkward for me, and even though I wasn't going to explain exactly what happened to him, I still told him it was because I felt uncomfortable with the whole thing going on -- not that it was acceptable for him to come in any other time while I was in the shower. Just because we shared a couple of kisses, did not mean I was suddenly ok with him seeing me naked.
All I could say was that this car ride was so much different. Alex would occasionally rest his hand on my leg after switching gears, waiting until I would interlock my fingers with his. I wasn't sure what we were, but I was happy and liked it for sure. It didn't matter that it had only been just over a month since my last relationship had ended. I just knew that this was right.
When we pulled up on the school parking lot, I stopped Alex before he could get out of the car. I just wanted to make sure of one thing, "hey, Alex? Can we not tell anybody about whatever is going on between us? It's not because I want to hide it, I just first want us to figure it out before everybody else knows and starts assuming things."
Alex looked at me the entire time and nodded when I finished, holding my hand in a supportive way, "yeah, I was thinking the same thing. I also don't want to rush you into anything you aren't ready for yet."
"Thank you," I blushed lightly already wanting to kiss him, but also knowing that too many people would be able to see.
----
It was during lunchtime, when Alex and Jack were both walking with me, when I announced that I was going to go to the bathroom. If it were in any other circumstances, it would have been a normal thing and they would just have gone to the cafeteria themselves. But they both knew why I was going and insisted on waiting for me outside of the bathroom. Have you ever had two guys wait on you while going to the bathroom? Well, it's definitely stressful. It was like the pressure was on; I couldn't take too long, but I still needed to get done what I had to do.
However, it would have been so much easier if I actually had the necessary items. You see, the shower I had to take caused me to be later than usual, meaning that I had to hurry. I totally forgot to bring extra pads along with me. Sure, I had my emergency tampons, but I couldn't exactly use those in this situation. The doctor had explicitly stressed that I should not use them. So, here I was, sitting on the toilet, nowhere to go. Toilet paper wasn't going to cut it out either.
So, instead, I had to send Alex a pretty awkward text: Can you maybe send Harper or Lianne in?
He replied in no time: Harper's coming, is everything ok?
Also not wanting to tell him about what happened this time either I just quickly answered: Yeah, no need to worry, nothing's wrong.
"Ash? Which stall are you in?" I heard Harper whisper-shout through the empty bathroom. Her footsteps echoed as she walked in further and the door closed behind her.
"Here," I mumbled and waited for her shoes to stop in front of where I was locked up. I didn't want to be too loud just to make sure nobody heard what I was saying, "do you have any pads I could use?"
"Umm," she opened her schoolbag and started looking through it, "I have tampons, would that be ok?"
I shook my head even though she couldn't see me and let out a small groan, "no, I have those, but my doctor told me not to use them yet."
My eyes went wide when I realised I mentioned my doctor, but I calmed down as soon as I realised Harper probably wouldn't be able to figure out this was an abortion. She probably still thought it was just about the physical damage Luke had caused down there. I mean, it wasn't that bad, but it wasn't like Harper knew that.
"I'll go to the school nurse. Wait here, don't move," she assured me, closing her bag again and picking it up.
I snorted, "it's not like I'm actually able to, but thanks for the warning."
----
Alex's POV
I looked expectantly at Harper as she came out of the bathroom again, "is she ok?"
"Yeah, yeah, all good," she patted my shoulder and gave me a forced smile, quickly pushing past me and Jack, "I'll be right back."
As she started running through the corridor I turned to Jack to give him a curious and confused look. He raised his shoulders up at me and leaned against the lockers. I was just too afraid that something serious was going on and that Ash wasn't telling us. She had been in the bathroom for quite some time already... or did girls always take this long when on their period? But then again, this wasn't just a period. Maybe Ash was freaking out about something in there, and I didn't know.
"Fuck it," I muttered and entered the bathroom, ignoring the weird looks I was getting from Jack. I didn't understand how he was able to just stand there and not be worried at all. However, he did have an older sister, so he probably still knew somewhat of how girl normally dealt with their periods... Oh well, I was here now.
"Ash? Is everything ok?" I asked, feeling kind of weird for standing in a place I could be suspended for.
"Alex! What the fuck are you doing here!" she gasped as she heard my voice sound throughout the room, "you can't be here! I'm fine. Just leave before somebody catches you in here."
"I just wanted to make sure everything was ok. Harper just rushed off and didn't say anything. For all I knew, you were dying in here."
"We're all dying, Alex," she chuckled, still being able to make a joke right now, "but, no, the process has not been sped up right now for me. Trust me, if something serious happened, you'd be the first to know."
The fact that she thought that made my heart flutter. She cared enough about me now to actually show that I was one of the most important people in her life right now. I knew I had to make her mine before I was too late again. I wasn't going to let somebody take here away from me this time. All I had to do was ask her out. Sure, I still wasn't going to force her into it, but I would beat myself up if I let her get away again.
"This might be the wrong time," I started, already knowing this really was the worst time to ask somebody out ever, "but--"
Harper came back in, out of breath, holding something in her hand. Her eyebrows furrowed as she saw me standing there, talking to Ash. After shaking her head and flicking the side of mine, she handed whatever she had brought to the girl on the other side of the thin door. I was pulled tightly by my arm and dragged out of the bathroom as soon as that was over, giving Ash some privacy.
"What the fuck were you doing in there?" Harper pinched the bridge of her nose in disbelief before turning to Jack, "and why didn't you stop him!"
Jack and I just looked at each other and shrugged.
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