Sanders sides one shots and mini stories

Idek honestly

It was a normal day in the mind palace. All was well with the word in Thomas's mind. Logan was on the couch reading a book, Roman and Virgil were sitting on the floor watching a Disney movie, well Virgil wasn't really watching, he had his headphones on and was leaning on Roman. Deciet was on the couch next to Logan, smiling a little at his phone whenever he got a new text from the groupchat he was in with Picani and Remy. Patton was in the kitchen baking cookies for everyone.

It was so...peaceful.

The door to the dark mind palace opened, Deciet, Roman and Virgil turned to Look. Remus walked through the door with an innocent smile on his face, and went straight to the kitchen. They all thought nothing of it until they heard obnoxious laughter from Remus.

"BUAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAWHEEEEEEEEEZEAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA"

In the middle of that, Patton stormed out of the kitchen, throwing his baking gloves to one side of the living room.

He started ranting, while slowly walking over and climbing into a clothes dryer.

"D I S C U S T E D, I AM REVOLTED, I DIDICATE MY ENTIRE LIFE TO OUR LORD AND SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST AND THIS IS THE THANKS THAT I GET?!?!"

By the time Patton had finished his rant, he closed the dryer door and the dryer turned on, the inside starting to spin and heat up.

Mind you, Patton is still in there.

The sides watched Patton spin in the dryer for a solid five minutes before the glass of the dryer door cracked and blood started spewing out from it onto their new white carpet. They could still see Patton's broken up body spinning round and round in the dryer.

Remus walked out of the kitchen with a bowl of cookie dough, still doubled over laughing. Once he calmed down, the other sides looked at him as if to say 'explain yourself.'

"Whaaaat?" Remus asked looking at them.

Virgil decided to speak up.
"Why the fuck did Patton just blend himself in a dryer?"

"I simply told him a joke." Remus said, smiling innocently.

"Dear God what did you say!?" Roman asked, horrified of what his answer will be.

"Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It's like a French kiss but down under." Remus responded with a smile.

"Dear god-" Virgil started, but only to be cut off be Remus.

"I also said:

I'm jealous of your heart, because it's pumping inside of you and I'm not.

I'm like a firefighter, I find them hot and leave them wet.

Do you like to draw? Because I put the D in Raw.

The FBI wants to steal my penis. Can I hide it inside you?

Your legs are like an Oreo Cookie. I wanna split them and eat all the good stuff in the middle."

"DEAR LORD BROTHER!!" Roman screeched.

By this time, Virgil had gotten up and went into the kitchen and screamed somthing along the lines of 'OH MY GOD I SWEAR THE BIBLE WARNED ME ABOUT PEOPLE LIKE YOU', and then faint blender sounds and screamimg.

Deiect had gone up the stairs while screaming "I'M AN ATHEIST BUT YOU REALLY NEED SOME FUCKING JESUS, HEARING YOU SPEAK IS WHAT DEATH FEELS LIKE." then he yeeted himself down the stairs on his neck and it cracked very loudly. He went limp.

Roman got up, still SCREECHING and made his way over to the door that leads to the dark sides and called for someone.

"LUST, SADISM!!! IN MY ROOM, NOW!!! AND BRING THE CHAINS!! MAKE SURE TO KILL ME WHEN YOUR DONE!!"

And with that, let's just call Roman dead.

Logan was still on the couch, reading.
He looked up at Remus for a couple of seconds before looking down again and saying. "You make sure to clean the fucking blood on my carpet."

"Will do." Remus said then sank out to his room.

I'm his room, Remus looked towards the camera (fourth wall break) and said.

"I am the thing that people see in birdbox."

And then the screen went blank.