"I can't do it anymore, Mr. Stark..." (suicidal Peter parker~FanFic❤)

"I'm so tired..."

❗🔺Trigger warning mention of self-harm and - suicidal tendencies read at your own risk!🔺❗

Peters Pov~

I'm so tired but that bloody beeping won't stop. Voices, I can hear voices and shuffling? where am I what's happening? I'm tired why can't I just sleep forever? my heads spinning, I'm cold what's happening?  my ears are ringing too loud. Beeping the beepings getting fast, it's too loud, everything's too loud! my thoughts are jumbled, why can't I move? I can't open my eyes there too heavy.

 the beeping slowed again, I sighed as my headache lifted a bit from the slowed-down movement. my thought are becoming clearer, what happened? memories started flooding into my head 'the cutting talking to Mr. Stark, passing out' wait, passing out? does he know? was it from blood loss? my breathing picked up and once again the beeping got faster I could hear a muffled voice. "h'y calm .... y' pass'out" the words came to my ears in a haze I can barely hear from the rining in my ears.

 My hand feels warm someone squeezes it, My thoughts froze at the contact I stopped breathing, my lungs weren't moving, Beeping, Loud, stop, too much! yo'...need ....' breathe'...kid!" someones panicked voice came yelling through my frozen state. I started gasping for air as the breath I was holding was released. I need to open my eyes, c' mon peter you can do this, my eyes fluttered open to see a tear-stained face......Tony

I opened my mouth to speak, nothing came out, I only now realized that my throat was extremely sore and I was dying of thirst. Mr stark grabbed a glass of water from the side table and handed it to me. I took it thankfully and empty the glass faster than Tony had gotten it. I sighed in relief, I felt content and my head was oddly enough not screaming at me for the first time in a while I felt calm... 

weird

I didn't have time to worry about that, I needed to worry about a certain Stark staring at me.

"kid.." I looked away, what did he know? "Pete hey look at me...?" I slowly turned my head trying not to let my face show how broken I was, keyword "try" Mr. Stark sighed and I realized I was clearly failing. 

Again~

I almost broke down crying when my head was no longer lingering in silence. "Kid...I don't know what to do.." yeah he can't care for such a mentally broken idiot like you! the voice screamed at me. I wanted to disappear, of course, he didn't want me... "I care so so much Pete and I love you, I would never be able to live without you," He sighed as a single tear rolled down his cheek. 

Love~ an odd word it could mean so many things, to love someone romanticly, or to love your best friend, Love a meaning of comfort, or a means of never being able to live without them.

I felt the sadness wash over me again, Mr. stark looked at me with worried eyes.

I broke

sobs started to wrack through my body and I shook the sobs rough and ragged, I wanted it all to stop, Mr stark pulled me upright and grasped my shoulders looking at my eyes as tears spilled out of them, He pulled me into a tight embrace as I sobbed and he silently cried. "kid, why do you feel this way?" he asked still holding onto me as if I would disappear if he let go, my cries by then had settled down into quieter sniffles and tears. "it wouldn't stop m'sorry" I slurred now being able to feel how tired I was. "what wouldn't kiddie?" He asked in a clam matter, his tears slowing to a single one rolling down his cheek. "thm voice" I Slurred but Mr. Stark only hummed in response. he climbed into the small hospital bed still latched onto me, we laid down and Mr. Stark was using his hand comb through my messy brown curls. Tony was sitting upright on the slight upright sitting hospital bed, I snuggled up to his side, my head against his chest listening to his even breaths as they lulled me to sleep, I let the clam sleep wash over me as I knew that the days ahead would be tough. Fighting a battle I was now sure I could win.

735 Words~

OMG, thanks So MUCH for 1K reads!!! I'm freaking out I always thought I would never ever get that many reads. and yes I do put myself down a lot but that's a struggle I deal with along with my depression.

But I appreciate you all so much! the writing is a coping thing as well as my singing but to think people actually like my work is the best feeling 

Thank you so, so much :)

until the next chapter guys! Bye :3