"I can't do it anymore, Mr. Stark..." (suicidal Peter parker~FanFic❤)

"Demons..."

! TW !

~No ones Pov~

It was a few days later that Peter was finally able to go back to his room. He decided to just lay there for at least that day, just staring at the ceiling playing with the cuffs of his shirt. He turned to look at his phone and decided to play his playlist, yes it was sad and depressing songs but in the end, it says positive things. He listened to his two favorite songs 'Happy Hurts' and 'Demons' (by Icon of Hire) it was quite loud but not enough to bother anyone else. He hummed along to the songs, he slowly drifted to sleep with the sound of music playing in his ears.

(Time skip)

Peters Pov~

I shot up straight instantly regretting it, I let out a shagged breath, another nightmare, memories replayed in my mind including my suicide attempt. I choked out a quiet sob. I let the music sing me back to sleep.

 Days go by and it's always the same empty feeling. They think I'm getting better, I look like I'm getting better, but am I really? faking smiles left and right. they think I eat but really ill just throw it all up, I can't keep anything down, what's wrong with me I this rate I feel like ill be back on that building... These demons won't go away.

I downed a bottle of water trying to suppress the feeling of being hungry but I can't just eat I can't even keep food down so what's the point. I fall back down onto my soft bed. 'why can't I just be okay' Because you aren't okay. 'stop' what I speak the truth. 'go away already!' I can't just go away.' I let out a sigh. I see a blade waiting for you.' no, I already did that today.' who cares it'll get rid of the pain you feel or you could do even better kill yourself! 'no I can't if Mr.Stark found out I'd be dead' Isn't that what you want? 'metaphorically not actually dead no matter how much I wish I was, I can't.' why not? ' I can't leave Mr. Stark... again...........' y' know he just pities you right? 'Just leave me be.'

I closed my eyes but knew I wouldn't be able to fall asleep, The urge to cut deepened as I lay on my bed staring at the ceiling. my eyes would occasionally look towards my desk drawer where I kept my blades in a secret little add on to the drawer I made so Mr. Stark wouldn't find them, again...

(flashback~)

"w-wait!" I yell as Mr. stark goes to open my drawer for a tool I had stolen, I let it slip that I hid it there but my blades, I was starting to panic. "Peter! What the hell!" I backed away trying to control my breathing hence the word "try" I thought you were done with this peter.." he looked at me with sorrow in his eyes. I looked away I didn't want to see his pity "look at me peter!" he yelled not with anger but with sadness, 

I shivered, I turned my face to look at him tears spilling out of my eyes, I hated seeing pity for another person. "I thought you were doing better, I thought you would come to me..." he said his words dripping with the venom of pity, It sent a shiver down my spine. he took them all, all my pain relievers. he just wants you to suffer, see he pities you he doesn't want you better! I sighed knowing the voice was right I cried myself to sleep that night.

Present time~ 

I couldn't take it anymore I got up and opened my draw sliding back a piece of wood that would lead to a secret box with my blades it was almost impossible to see if I didn't know it was there. I put a few blades in my pocket going into my bathroom. I sat on the edge of the toilet lid and slid the metal across my wrist, feeling calm and grounded with every slice. one of my arms were now covered in red but I had to keep going I went to my thighs and legs, I wasn't finished until I got lightheaded. The floor was covered in blood, I took out my bandages and wrapped my fresh wounds wincing every once and awhile. I wiped the bathroom floor and cleaned my freshly used blades stuffing them back in my pockets.

I was startled by a knock on my bedroom door, I put up a calm facade when really I was freaking out on the inside. "come In!" I yelled sitting down on my bed. "hey kid.." Mr. Stark? it had been a few days since that incident, I hadn't talked to anyone in a while... I looked away not saying a word. "kid... we care, we're not just pitying you we care and we hate seeing you like this." he said with calm? in his voice, not pity... I looked at his face, he looked like he hadn't slept in days. "I-I" my voice was hoarse and scratchy from not using it. I wanted to break down in tears right there, I was so done being broken I just wanna be fixed. Tears started spilling from my eyes. "aw, Pete.."

"i-it's been so h-hard w-without m-may.." I choked out another sob at the refreshed memory. "I-I just c-couldn't go on a-and the v-voices-said no one cared." I stuttered. "and I-I'd be better o-off d-dead, a-and I t-thought the p-pain w-w-would go..." I said crying, "kid... things will get better if you let us help." he said and guilt started crawling up my back, I felt nauseous and lightheaded "kid you okay? you're really pale," he said with a concerned voice I nodded seeing black spots. "well there's breakfast downstairs and some of the team are there, and you look like you could use some energy." he said trying to lighten the mood.

I nodded quietly and stood up regretting it as I passed out the last thing I heard Mr. Stark yell "PETER!" at that moment the floor seemed so welcoming, finally some sleep.

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Next chapter coming soon Sorry had writer's block hence why it's so late.

But the next chapters will be coming out soon 

It'll wrap up in a few more chapters put feel free to check out my other book of suicidal shorts with Peter~

See ya in the next chapter BYE!~ :3