The Nerd and The Frog

Hormones (Final)

It was the only place where he could be alone without anyone questioning him. He lay face down on a pillow that rested on the couch in Thomas's studio, trying to calm down from the mixture of emotions that he felt. Lucky for him, it was empty, as he figured Thomas hadn't come home just yet. Each of them had a key to the small space, but they were required to let Thomas know if they would be in there, just out of respect, as it was his own private area. But this was one time where he just didn't have the forthright to consider doing that.

Alan took deep breaths as his entire body shook, his head eventually turned towards the couch as he needed air.

"No thanks, you fag."

The words kept playing in his head on constant repeat, as he tried his best to fight back the urge to cry. Tears began to fill within his eyes, the green color in his iris becoming hazy as he blinked them back.

Why... would he call me that? What have I done to him... for him to treat me like this?

He pulled his knees towards his chest as he rotated his body to face the inner cushions of the couch, staring off into nothingness as he processed every possible scenario he could think for why Jonathan was so hostile and aggressive towards him.

"You admiring the fabric of my couch?"

The sound of someone's voice made Alan gasp and jump in fear, his head immediately looking upwards to see Thomas leaning his forearms against the back of the couch, a small smile on his face.

"You scared me..." Alan said with a relieved sigh, laying his head back down onto the pillow as he rolled onto his back, staring up towards the ceiling, trying to calm down his beating heart.

"I don't know why, considering you're in my place..." Thomas teased lightly, as he watched Alan aimlessly stare off into space. "What's wrong, Allie?"

Alan blinked and adjusted his gaze towards Thomas's face, seeing a rather concerned expression. He opened his mouth to speak, but then closed it not too long after. "I'm just thinking..." he muttered softly, averting his gaze.

"About...?" Thomas asked, titling his head to the left as he did so.

"I don't... want to talk about it." Alan spoke calmly, closing his eyes as he did so.

There was a moment of silence, a slight tenseness between the two of them as it passed.

"It's nothing against you or anything..." Alan added, not liking the sudden quiet.

"I figured as much." Thomas stated, yet his voice was much clearer and closer. Alan frowned in confusion as he opened his eyes to see Thomas hovering over him from the right, his face rather close as he stared down calmly. Alan jumped in surprise once again, a small yelp of shock coming from him. Thomas laughed at the reaction.

"Are you trying to kill me or something?" Alan shouted out, holding his chest as his heartbeat rapidly increased again.

"No, just trying to figure out why you decided to come to my place unannounced instead of going home to your own bedroom." Thomas joked with smirk as he sat back onto his heels, having kneeled on the floor next to Alan while he laid on the couch. He watched Alan catch his breath, before hearing him sigh deeply.

"Sorry... I forgot to ask... I just needed... a place to be alone for a bit." Alan admitted, a look of sadness coming to his face.

"Why? What's wrong?" Thomas asked once again, adjusting to sit cross-legged on the floor.

Alan glanced over to Thomas quietly, seeing his blue eyes looking towards him with genuine concern and interest. He looked away again, before sighing. "I'm not trying to start anything... Let me say that first..." he stated firmly, his gaze still remaining on the ceiling.