matchmaker // c.h.

I.

"Don't shit your pants, I'm coming."

Calum was just finishing his breakfast when Jen dragged him out of the chair by his ear, yelling he was late for the appointment with the matchmaker. Ashton calmly walked down the stairs and greeted Calum normally, as if he was sitting in the chair watching a movie.

"Can't I stay home?" Ashton whined, his mouth filled with toast.

Jen shook her head. "As much I'd love to go with Thomas, I have work."

"Michael and Luke don't have work or anything to do!" Ash protested. "They're just hanging out the bar trying to pick up girls."

Calum looked back and forth from Ashton and Jen, who looked like they didn't even know he was there. He was reminded of two parents fighting over who babysits the kid - which, in this case, was Calum. After three more minutes of Ash and Jen's nonstop bickering, he decided none of them will even notice if he was gone.

Before he even moved his foot, Jen quickly snapped, "Don't you eve dare move," then went back to her argument with Ashton.

"Why can't I just go by myself?" Calum intervened.

Ashton laughed. "Because you'll look stupid."

"What if I don't care?"

"I highly doubt that."

"What?"

"Calum Hood, not thinking of what other people - who don't know the slightest thing about you - think?" Jen snorted. "That sound familiar?"

"No it does not," Calum answered almost immediately. "Who'll take me?"

Ashton rolled his eyes, sighed then raised his hand like a student who volunteered because his teacher forced him to. Jen looked proud of herself, managing to convince the most stubborn of all of us - even more stubborn than Zoe or Michael - to do something he doesn't want to do.

"You boys better get going," she said, wearing her coat. "It's going to start raining soon, and in New York, when it starts raining, it never stops."

+

Sure enough, an hour later, the two boys arrived at the matchmaking place soaked to the bone. They were shivering and as they tried to fill in their form, kept asking for another one because the previous one kept getting wet.

"This is harder than I thought," Ashton said with gritted teeth.

"It wouldn't be hard if we were dry."

"Just focus on the form shit; you don't want to be dry for the rest of your life."

"Thanks for the encouragement, bud," Calum deadpanned.

Barely a minute passed before Ashton said anything again. "Will we use our real names?"

"I wouldn't like to put 'Fletcher' on my form but your call."

Five minutes later the two were done with their resumes. Calum was excited and terrified - mostly terrified - to pass it because he wasn't sure that they will find his "soulmate". Maybe they won't even find someone who considered talking to him, let alone dating him.

Ashton seemed to know what Calum was thinking because he reassured his best friend, "Hey, mate, if they don't find anyone in New York, we can still try Australia, right? Or Argentina, or Taiwan, or Russia, or Philippines - you'll find someone!"

+

Two minutes had passed and they weren't called yet.

+

Seven minutes had passed and they weren't called yet.

+

Twenty minutes had passed and they weren't called yet.

+

Thirty-six minutes had passed and they were finally called.

+

"Finally!" Calum muttered when he heard a female voice through the speaker say, "Hood and Dela Cruz."

Cal turned to Ashton with a look on his face, his eyebrows raised. The golden haired boy just shrugged and with a huge grin on his face, said, "Like I said: Philippines."

Ashton and Calum knocked on the door of the "Matchmaker" and let themselves in, saying a low "good morning," to the woman behind the desk.

She didn't look older than Calum and Ashton. Probably even younger. Ashton looked confused, and even checked the name on the door to see if they were in the right room.

"Sit," the girl requested, her voice tired and airy. The two boys immediately obeyed, the Matchmaker paying no attention to the both of them. She was busy on the computer and continuously skimmed through the paperwork, not even glancing at the two confused 23 year olds.

"No, you weren't called here by accident," she answered their unasked question. "Okay." The girl finally looked away from the computer and the calculators and the papers. "I'm Raine, and I will be your matchmaker." Observing them more closely, she noticed, "You don't look that old."

"Thanks, maybe the anti-aging cream did help," Calum joked, cracking a little smile that quickly faded after seeing the serious look on Raine's face.

The seriousness disappearing from her face in a second, Raine laughed. "That joke was lame as fuck but that was the highlight of my day," she said, smiling warmly.

Ashton and Calum exchanged looks of relief, seeing the grin on her face. "What was the next highlight? If you don't mind us asking," Ashton quickly added.

"If you consider trying to compute shit that don't make sense a highlight then probably that," Raine replied. "Okay, so it says on your form that you - " She points to Calum, "are 22 turning 23 - "

Ashton started to sing the Taylor Swift song - 22 - and then Calum followed. "Who's Taylor Swift anyway? Ew." The two laughed.

"You two are thinking of settling down?" Raine asked, fake horror - that looked quite real - on her face.

Now the looks of horror were on Calum's and Ashton's faces. "Dear God no!" they quickly exclaimed. "We were only trying to find a date."

"First time in weeks I haven't heard someone say, 'I'm looking to get laid,'" she stated. "Okay, so judging by your forms and your looks, I'd say it wouldn't be hard to find you a date." Raine paused. "Do you want something serious or something for fun?"

"If it's for fun then - "

"Yes, I will be sure to find someone who fucks good and hard."

"No," Calum cringed, "That wouldn't be so bad but, no. If it's for fun will it still match or shit?"

"It will still be compatible or as close to compatible as it can get," she answered. "But there will be a high chance that this 'for fun' fling can turn into somehing serious."

The black haired boy considered it for a moment. "Okay," he said. "Sign me up."