Escape

Are you going to see her?

The next day Lindsey barely said a word to anyone. He felt so relaxed at Stevie’s the night before and now he’s trapped in the house with no reason to escape for even a little while. Kristen called him to the dining room, informing him dinner was served. They were the only two in the room, Will was out with his friends and their daughters were in their bedrooms, doing god knows what, claiming not to be hungry.

“How was Sara’s birthday?” Kristen asked, attempting at a conversation.

“Great.”

“It must have been, seeing how you came home past midnight.” Lindsey said nothing and tried to finish his food quickly. “I know you think I don’t care about her, but I do. She’s your daughter.”

“I don’t think you’re completely heartless, Kristen. Sara’s done nothing wrong to you not to care about her, unless of course you are that jealous of Stevie to take it out on our daughter.”

Kristen sat with her jaw tight. She would never say it out loud, but Lindsey was right, she was always jealous of Stevie. Kristen saw how the two acted around each other, part of her knew that Lindsey would always love that woman. Even walking down the aisle, Kristen knew that her lawful husband wasn’t in love with her. She was stupid to think she’d be able to change that, that she somehow would get Lindsey’s heart with her looks and her youth, but she had nothing compared to Stevie Nicks.

“Why are you so cruel to me, Lindsey?”

“How am I cruel? By giving you the life anyone could dream of, by being a father of your children, by being your husband?”

“By not loving me.”

“I do love you.”

“Just not like you love Stevie.”

He sighed, setting his fork on the plate. “What do you want me to say, Kristen? Do you want me to lie? Do you want me to tell you otherwise, so you feel better?”

“No. I want you to tell me exactly how you feel.” Tears of a heartbroken woman were glistening in her eyes. “I want you to be open with me at least once, Lindsey.”

“You want me to tell you I still love Stevie?”

“If that is the truth, yes…”

He couldn’t believe he found himself in this situation, he hesitated to answer. “I do. I fell for her thirty years ago and I didn’t stop loving her since. Stevie’s the love of my life and every single time I see her, it physically hurts not being with her at all times. I was a fool, I never meant to hurt you, Kristen. We should have never got married.” At that, she broke down completely. She felt sick, but she couldn’t blame Lindsey for telling her what he did, she asked for it.

Lindsey got up and left the table, the one place he could get away was his studio and that is where he headed. He locked the door and lay down on the couch. Why? Why was he torturing himself? Why was he in this relationship with Kristen still? He never truly loved her, she was the mother of three of his children and he only felt grateful for them.

Lindsey started looking back on the recent years. What caused this gap between him and Kristen, he did not know. Stevie was always there. Nothing drastic happened. Kristen always had her suspicions of the two having an affair, but the truth was, the last time they were intimate was during Say You Will tour. He secretly hoped for it to happen again when Fleetwood Mac went on tour in 2009, but Stevie said she couldn’t go on like this anymore and he understood.

It was obvious to Lindsey that he had a serious decision to make, but he was afraid. He had no idea really how Stevie felt about him, whether she would accept him if he were to leave his wife and what if she didn’t? That meant him being a very sad sixty three year old man and he couldn’t stand the thought.

Lindsey spent over an hour in the studio before returning to the main house. He couldn’t stay there right now. He searched for his car keys and just as he grabbed them, Kristen appeared from what seemed nowhere.

“Where are you going?”

“I don’t know.” He was being honest.

“Are you going to see her?”

“Kristen, I don’t know. But what I do know, is that I can’t be in this house right now.”

“If you end up at your mistress’ place and you happen to fuck her, have some respect for me and don’t come home tonight.”

“Jesus fucking Christ, Kristen!” Lindsey threw his hands in the air, completely frustrated. “I’m not going to Stevie’s and she’s not my mistress!”

“Ok, alright….” She shrugged and Lindsey went out the door.

 

Lindsey drove around the city for what seemed hours, the same question on his mind, what should he do? One thing for sure, he loved Stevie with all his heart and he wanted to be with her more than anything. He had to know how she felt.

It was getting pretty late, but Lindsey knew there was no way Stevie was sleeping already, she always stayed up until two or three in the morning, usually for no reason at all. He stopped by the side of the road and got his cell phone out of his pocket. He dialed the house number as Stevie didn’t use a cell phone herself.

‘Yeah?’

‘Don’t you think that’s a little rude?’

‘Oh, hey, dad!’

‘Hey. Sara, I need to talk to your mom.’

‘Um… she’s…’

‘Is she ok?’

‘Yeah, she’s fine, but…’

‘You can tell me, you know that, angel.’

‘Mom’s out.’

‘Out? Like with her girlfriends?’

‘Not exactly.’

‘Oh… I had no idea she was seeing someone.’

‘I don’t think it’s serious, but, yeah…’

‘I see, well.’

‘Should I tell her you called?’

‘No, no it’s ok.’

‘Dad, are you ok?’

‘Fine, I’m fine… I gotta go now. See you soon.’

‘You too, dad.’

And the answer was given to him.