i'm falling for you » ethma

chapter 12 » hurt

-grayson's pov-

Ethan and Emma were so touchy all day I couldn't handle it. My feelings for Emma grew bigger and stronger with each passing second and seeing her in Ethan's arms didn't help.

I was the one for her. 

I protected her from her crazy psycho ex.

Why wasn't I good enough for her? 

I was thinking so negatively and at one point when we were in a cafe,I excused myself to the bathroom. 

As soon as I got in,hot tears started streaming down my face. The girl that I like and my own twin brother are together,both of them have no idea how I feel.

How I felt at that party when she kissed Ethan instead of me.I was hoping so dearly that it would be me,but I was a fool. 

Tears kept escaping my eyes and soon enough,I was a puffy,red eyed mess. I can't go back to them looking like this.They'll ask me what's wrong and I'll never be able to answer. 

I was in a bathroom for a while when I came up with an idea.It was wrong to do so,but.. I couldn't stop myself. I had an idea to go out there and clearly let them know that something is very wrong, but never tell them. It would be a torture for me if somebody did that so I figured,it would be for them as well. 

I wanted to see if Emma cared for me. I wanted to see if she loved me,or was just nice to me because I saved her life that night. 

Opening the bathroom door harshly,I made sure to look as dramatic as possible. I went over to them,looking at the ground the whole time. I ,,accidentally'' made eye contact with Emma to see her reaction.

,,Gray? '' she questioned putting her hand on my shoulder. Her touch makes me feel all sorts of emotions.I looked her in the eyes.Her were gorgeous and ocean blue,but still filled with worry,mine were red and puffy. They were hiding pain. 

,,Grayson. '' Ethan seemed serious ,,Bro? What's wrong ? '' 

,,Nothing. '' I said,giving them both the cold shoulder.

Emma's eyes met mine again.They were full of concern,worry and sadness.

I did it. My plan worked. But I couldn't handle seeing her like that.

So I just ran out of there like a coward. 

-ethan's pov-

I sprinted immediately towards Grayson,he never cries. He cried when our father passed,that's the last time I remember him crying. Something mush have REALLY hurt his feelings,and as his twin brother,I feel as if it is my job to find out and help him. He kept running and running,and got to the car sooner than I did. 

He drove off. He didn't even look at me. 

So there I was,standing there alone like an idiot.I left my girlfriend alone only to run after my brother.He clearly didn't give a shit and that really hurt me. 

So I went back to Emma,she was sitting alone and she was cupping her face with her hands,looking at the ground. 

,,Emma.'' I said taking her hand. ,,please baby? Calm down and don't worry about him,okay? ''

,,How could I not worry? Ethan..I love him. He was there for me when nobody was..Not even..''

,,Not even what,Emma? ''

,,Not even you. '' 

Her words stung like a million knives and I could do nothing but keep silent. I was at a loss for words. She was right. 

When that guy was abusing her,what was I doing? Sleeping home like a lazy ass I am,and who was there to save her life? Grayson. He was there.

Before I could say anything,Emma sat up and left. 

-emma's pov-

What I said was sadly true.Ethan wasn't the one to protect me when I was almost killed.Seeing Grayson cry made me really emotional and I had to help him somehow. I called him a thousand times,but he never picked up. I was so worried. My ride home was agonizing since I didn't even know where he may be.but I knew one thing. I had to find him. 

As soon as I got home I started texting him again.

emma: gray

               grayson hey

               talk to me please.i love you. 

read at 10.02pm

emma: i know that you're there. 

              i am worried grayson. :(

read at 10.04pm

Shit. Where the hell was he? 

I let myself forget Ethan for a second and I got in my car again.I went driving around,it was already night time and it was raining heavily but I didn't care. All I had to do is find Grayson and make sure he is okay.

When I lost all hope after about an hour, I saw him sitting alone on a bench in a lonely,dark park.I immediately got out of my car and ran towards him.The sight I was greeted with broke me. Grayson,all alone in the pouring rain,sitting on a bench hugging his knees.

As soon as he saw me he tried to run away again,but I pulled him by his arm. He stopped and turned to me. We looked at each other for a second and then he pulled me in for a hug. When we pulled away,his hands were still firmly placed on my waist and mine were around his neck. 

,,Gray..I- '' I started.. ,,please tell me what's wrong'' 

,,Emma.. '' His eyes started tearing up again as he got closer to me. 

Our noses were almost touching and I stood there looking deeply into his beautiful hazel eyes.

Holy shit what was I thinking.

,,You love him,right? '' 

,,Ethan? Yes but- ''

He cut me off.

,,That's just what I thought.I'm never good enough. I never was and I never will be I am just useless and..'' 

I stopped him by placing a kiss on his lips.I figured it was the only way to stop him.

We then kissed for what felt like an eternity and it felt so wrong and so right at the same time.

Oh god.

What am I doing?

»author's notethank you for 1.1k reads <3