Do I Wanna Know? (Troyler) [ON HOLD]

Ultraviolence

A hand harshly pulled me inside. Fuck, Carter's home. I plastered on a pleasant smile as I made eye contact with my drunk boyfriend. "Who was that boy that was in here?" He screamed at me. I began to feel a familiar feeling of fear and regret as I tore my arm from Carter's grasp.

"You haven't been here babe, and I needed someone last night. When did you get back this morning?" I tried my best to not let my fear show, but I was stuttering like crazy. As I turned to slowly walk out of the room, Carter's loud, slurred voice boomed out 2 quick words. "Come here." Tears began to pool in my eyes. I shuffled towards my awaiting boyfriend. "Quicker." He yelled at me. I picked up my pace. Stopping about a foot away from him, I began to shake. Carter walked towards me. His breath reeked of alcohol. He walked a circle around me and then began trying to do what he came back for.

He whispered in my ear, "Why Troye? Am I not good enough for you? Show me. I won't bite. Well, I won't make that promise." A scared smile was a sharp contradiction to the tears streaming down my face. My breathing was uneven and I started to sweat. Carter's lips began their assault on my pale neck.

"Carter please." I pleaded. He lips were quickly replaced with the tight grip of his large hand.

"You asked for this. You know I hate when you bring other men in here. You knew there would be consequences." I tried prying his hand off of my throat. I was too weak and it didn't help that my lungs were gasping for air. Carter chuckled at my futile attempt. He let go of my neck and began pushing me towards the bedroom. Tonight was going to be a long night.

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I woke up to a wet pillow and a sleepy, hungover Carter stirring beside me. I quietly and lightly stood and walked to the full length mirror in the bathroom. I looked warily at my naked body to inspect the damage. I had bruises, bites marks, and hickeys all over my already scarred body. I stared at the semi-fresh cuts that covered my body. I pulled the scale out from under the cabinet. 100.3. Not good enough Troye. Carter had said I was getting a little heavy. All I've been eating is coffee and a Starbucks pastries. I haven't eaten lunch or dinner in over a week.

I mean I had to be thin right? What else did I have going for me? I turned towards the mirror once again. No one will ever love a boy with scars. Carter's words from a month ago had stuck with me. I looked at my ugly, too fat, too tall body with distaste.

I wish I was as beautiful as Carter. His sandy blond hair, his muscular but lean body, his always soft lips...He was blessed. I left the bathroom and silently and lightly crawled back into bed. As I settled in I felt an awaiting Carter pull me in to tight cuddle. I burrowed my head into the crook of his neck. I smiled as I felt him place a soft, barely there kiss on the top of head. I fell back into a peaceful slumber.

A/N

Hi y'all!!! Sorry for the wait, I had a bunch of projects for the past few weeks. In this chapter I kind of wanted to let you guys see a little bit of Carter and how twisted their relationship is. I also want you guys to realize that Troye doesn't and never will hate Carter for all the bad things he says and does. Basically, Carter will abuse (verbally and physically) and rape Troye for his own sexual pleasure. Troye doesn't see the bad in this because Carter is the only person he believes "loves" him. Troye lets Carter do all these things because he believes that there is no "better" for people "like him". I just don't want anyone thinking Troye is just stupid or anything like that.

Love Elise

(ALSO THANKS FOR OVER 700 READS!!!!!! I FEEL LIKE EVERY TIME I UPDATE WE ARE UP A HUNDRED READS!!!! YALL ARE THE BEST READERS EVER!!)