Do I Wanna Know? (Troyler) [ON HOLD]

Him.

I walked into my now empty apartment, with a sigh. Carter had left again last week. It wasn't like I didn't expect it, but it always hurt. A lot. Too much. I hated being alone. I hated not sleeping, I hated that I smoked, I hated that I couldn't gain weight, I hated looking in the mirror, and I hated this crappy, empty apartment. I hated that I couldn't make anyone stay. I hated the pale scarred skin that cloaked my bones.

Deep breaths Troye. His voice pained me, but I listened. He was the only one who could help me. He still is the only one who can help me. I closed my eyes letting his smell, his face, his voice, and everything else just wash over me. His eyes weren't poisonous like Carter's. His words weren't harsh, he never hurt me. But he had hurt me. Once. He only got a chance to hurt me once. Bye Troye. His last words pulled themselves to the front of my mind.

The once calm state I was in now turned into a state of panic. The bitter taste of the bile rising in my throat sent me running towards the bathroom. I stood bent over the toilet as the thoughts of him shot of of my body. I had to get him out. I couldn't think of him anymore. My knees gave way as my now weak body fell to the cold tile that covered the floor. I replayed our last conversation in my mind as sobs shook my body.

"Bye Troye." he said as he placed a soft kiss on my forehead.
"No, stay! I'm not that tired." I couldn't contain the small yawn the escaped my lips. He laughed as he wrapped me in a hug.
"Go to sleep Troye, I'll be here when you wake up." He avoided my eyes as he kissed me goodnight one last time.
"Goodnight." I reluctantly mumbled.
He slipped out through my bedroom door and left. I stumbled to window and watched as his car drive way. I fell into my bed with a silly, naive smile on my face as I drifted into a deep dreamless sleep.