Do I Wanna Know? (Troyler) [ON HOLD]

The Boy With The Lilac Hair

TROYE'S P.O.V

I made my way back to my apartment, knowing I needed to start my day soon. I had to be at my internship by 10. My internship was at Universal Studios. I led tours, ran errands, and occasionally did some acting. My phone was dead so I couldn't check the time, but I guessed it was around 7 or 8. As I rounded the corner onto another street, I saw a group of college students walking out of a store. Their loud, perky voices cut through the silence in the otherwise silent street. I rolled my eyes. How are they so god damn lively? I ducked into the Starbucks I went to every morning to get breakfast. I ordered a bagel and some black coffee. I sat down as I waited for my order to be finished. It was kind of packed so I knew it would be a while.

My eyes flew to the door as a beautiful boy with lilac hair walked in. He was accompanied by two girls I recognized from the group of college kids. One of them said something to him, and a high-pitched adorable laugh filled the small shop. He was wearing a pair of jeans that cupped his ass in all the right ways. His short sleeve shirt showed off his toned arms. He turned his head and his aquamarine eyes met mine as he smiled at me. I blushed and looked down at the table, embarrassed. Fuck. He caught me. "Sivan." I quickly stood, got my order, and left. I briskly walked to my apartment, needing to escape. I needed a smoke, and quick. I arrived at my apartment and quickly entered. I shut and locked my door, shutting the outside out.

I grabbed my pack and quickly stuck a cigarette in my awaiting mouth. I fumbled around with my lighter and lit it. Taking a long inhale of the comforting smoke, I sat down at my cluttered table. I sat down with my breakfast and ate and sipped in-between puffs of my cigarette. I sat stuck in my thoughts, thinking of the lilac haired boy. His smile. His eyes. His laugh. I shook my head and focused on inhaling and exhaling. My thoughts consumed me. I thought about why I'd never have a chance with him. How broken and torn I was, and how many scars littered my skin. My mind wondered back to the times when people got close and I let them in my heart. I remembered the pieces of me still left with them and how once they let me go they tore me apart. I thought of jeans and sweaters on 100 degree days and crying and hiding. I thought of words being spoken and them taking their toll. I thought of being empty and not wanting to go on. I thought of pills and cutting too deep and my mom's tears. I thought of letting go, but still hanging on. I thought about waking up with tubes in my veins and bandages on my arms. I thought of therapy and how life wasn't there, how I wasn't there.

Shaking my head again, I stood and wiped my face, tears spilling out of my eyes. I walked to the bathroom and washed all evidence of this episode from my face. I threw on a new sweater, grabbed my now charged phone, picked up a jacket, and left for Universal.