How to fix a broken soul Toxade (Ninjago fanfiction) Depressed

I miss you mommy!

Tox's POV

"For how long do I have to wear this stupid cast again?" Shade sighs as I carefully place his leg on a pillow. "Around six weeks," I smile. "just make sure you get a LOT of rest and it will be over before you know it!" "Is it a good thing that it's throbbing?" "It's normal since you broke it just yesterday but I'll get you some ice!" I walk down the stairs and into the kitchen where Zane is preparing to cook breakfast. "Hello Tox," He smiles. "breakfast will be ready in twenty minutes just so you know!" "Okay, thanks!" I take out an ice pack from the freezer and rushes back up. "Sis! Why are you spending so much time with him?" Are you serious? "Since when did you become the overprotective one of us?" I groan. "I can survive by myself and Shade will need my help now since he won't be able to walk for a while!" "Someone else can do that!" I guess I won't have a choice... She will probably figure it out anyway if I know her right. I grab her arm and pulls her into a corner. "Now, listen! The reason that I'm hanging out with him so much is that I found out that he's suffering from depression and-" "WHAT?" "Shh! Let me finish! I caught him cutting himself a few days ago and we both made a deal that he wouldn't cut himself more if I didn't tell anyone!" "Why didn't you tell me?" "He's FREAKING suicidal!" I know it's stupid to scream, but I'm getting really mad! "I've just started to gain his trust and I don't want to ruin it!"

Shade's POV

I sit up in my bed, carefully lifting my leg off it before grabbing my crutches. Ugh! How do some people walk with these things? I sit down in front of the small table that's kinda like a small memorial for my mother, it was just there when I came here and I... use it to talk with her I guess... I sit down, looking at the table with a picture of her and a candle... and a purple teddy bear, who I still sleep with DON'T QUESTION ME, it was her last gift to me...

*flashback*

"Mommy, can I have that Teddy bear?" I ask and points to a purple teddy bear. "Oh, I'm sorry sweety! But it's too expensive." "It's okay mommy! I can pick another toy!" "No! I promised you I would give you ANY toy you wanted! Just wait until I've earned enough money and I'll buy it for you! I promise!" "Really mommy? You'd do that?" "I'd do anything for you, my beautiful little boy!" "Mommy! Dad told me it's called handsome!" "You're beautiful AND handsome!" she chuckles. "I love you, mommy!" "I love you too my brave little warrior!"

*two years later*

She's gone... I can't believe she's gone! "I-I'll miss y-you mommy!" "Shade..." My father walks in, holding a box and a letter in his hands. "This is from your mother... she told me to give it to after her death, I'll leave you alone when you open it!" He walks out and I open the letter.

Shade my brave little warrior

I love you more than anything in this world, and I'm sorry I couldn't remember you! Yes, I lied when I promised you! But I didn't want to break your heart... not in that way, I'm very sorry! But I love you! And I'll always be with you, no matter what! But for another promise that I'm going to keep, look in the box! Remember that toy I promised you two years ago? The one that I told you that it was too expensive? Since my soul will soon leave my body, money has no meaning to me anymore! I wanna spend the money I have on you! Keeping an old promise, that's my last gift to you! Stay strong for me okay? You where always a fighter, never forget that!

Mommy loves you!

I close the letter ripping off the paper, opening the box and taking up a... purple teddy bear. "I-I love you so much, mommy!" I cry, snuggling with it. "Thank you s-so much! I p-promise I'll stay strong... for you!"

*flashback ends*

"Hi, mommy..." I start. "Yeah... sorry I didn't talk to you yesterday, I kinda... broke my leg when ran down some stairs... Embarrassing right? Anyways... So I'm kinda starting to trust Tox a bit, she carried me on the way to the hospital and actually made me laugh a bit! I don't know if I can trust her fully, we both know what happened last time I did that... I'm just relieved that she's actually keeping the promise we made! I'm doing my best to keep my part of the promise... But it's hard not to cut myself every day since I'm so used to it. How I am now? My leg is throbbing, I have to wear this stupid cast for six weeks before I can walk on it again and... I still don't see the point in life, some people called me a freak yesterday... but it's okay! I'm used to it and I've been called much worse things! Tox defended me, which I don't see the reason why... even da-Jack called me a mistake once which... I guess I am in some way... I-I... I just want my life to end but... those who commits suicide goes to hell! that's why I made my 200 rules book! Cause if I'm doing that much wrong it means I deserve to go to hell right?" I can feel tears forming in my eyes. "I-I'm sorry I'm such a disappointment to you! I'm sorry I can't be strong! I'm always letting you down, right? I understand if you don't love me anymore... B-but I really miss you, mommy! I would do anything just to see you again! ANYTHING!" I bend down, burying my face in my hands. This happens every time I talk to her, hope I don't get any of my tears on my cast.