Writing Tips &Tricks

Action Vs Dialogue

It is sometimes hard to know, in your story, how much is too much. I have personally found it very hard to balance dialogue with action.

I feel like most of my story is pushed forward by spoken words and inner thoughts. Action comes as an afterthought.

Some of the best advice that I have been given on the subject of using action within an set of dialogue, is K.I.S.S.

Before I get into what that acronym means, I want to give you an example of what a bad combination of action and dialogue looks like:

"I don't know Michael, It seems a bit much... don't you think?"

This sentence could mean anything. They could be picking out furniture, clothes shopping, getting dinner. The possibilities are endless. Let's narrow it down a bit, shall we?

Compare it to this scene:

She shifted uncomfortably in her seat, "I don't know Michael, it seems a bit much... don't you think?"

Now we know the nature of the situation. The reader can more actively picture the scene in their mind. The woman, whoever she is, is seated and not in a relaxed manner. You probably imagined her leaning forward in her chair, avoiding eye contact, maybe legs crossed, arms folded? All of this information can be inferred just by saying that they shifted uncomfortably.

Can you imagine someone sitting like that?

This extra sentence of information gives your character more of a solid form. Your reader can imagine someone shifting in a chair and it begins to give them a feel for the rest of the character's body language without you having to spell everything out. Any little action can remind the reader that your character's arent just floating heads. These are people with forms and feelings.

It makes your characters more real. It is easier to care about a human being than a disembodied identity.

Let's add emotion:

She shifted uncomfortably in her seat, "I don't know Michael, it seems a bit much... don't you think?" June eyed the man, who loomed creepily over her, wariness written on her features. She had no idea what he would do.

Doesn't that sound so much more interesting? Don't you feel invested in what happens to June? Doesn't June feel more human? Having a nice balance of action and dialogue gives your character depth and humanity. People can more easily connect with characters with dynamic.

We've given her a name, some emotion, a body, and a problem that she has to deal with. These are all very human things.

Back to what I mean by K.I.S.S. Keep it simple, stupid.

Explaining too much is just as bad as not explaining enough. People don't need to know the exact make and model of every item in the room or that all your socks are Adidas. Honestly people don't care.

Don't give your readers a lot of info up front, either. Information dumps are bad. Give them information as it comes up. If they leave the bedroom to the bathroom, you don't need to give the reader an entire description of the bathroom. Describe objects as they come into contact with them. For instance:

Terry shuffled slowly up to the vanity and yawned in the mirror. He was not a morning person. He grabbed a toothbrush out of the container on the counter and the toothpaste tube, knocking over deoderant and several other things in the process. He ignored the mess and began brushing his teeth. He let the water run, unconcerned. He spit out the toothpaste and rinsed his mouth out. He grabbed a washcloth off the towel rack, some left over water dripping off his fingertips into the dirty clothes bin. He needed to do laundry.

Now we know that the vanity has a sink, a toothbrush container, various toiletries on the counter, and a mirror behind it. We also know that the towel rack is right next to it, right above a clothes hamper. The reader is more likely to remember that than:

When you first walked in, you could see the vanity and the mirror from the doorway. Right next to that was a towel rack, above a dirty clothes hamper.

Describe things as they serve their purpose or as your character interacts with it. Keep it simple, stupid. I Don't mean for you, for your readers. You know what you meant but your readers can't possibly. Keept it simple.

Another thing, action and dialogue both need to serve a purpose. If a scene could be just as good without it, then it isn't necessary.

Dialogue should be an interaction between characters. That being said, you don't have to tell the readers every single thing that was said in a conversation. Unless it is relevent to the reader directly, don't mention it. For instance:

They continued to talk for a few more hours, totally immersed in political controversy.

This lets the reader know that there was dialogue going on, but it doesn't bore them by telling them everything that was being said.

Same thing can be said about action. You don't need to tell the readers about every step someone takes going up the stairs. That isn't important. Give them the general picture. Like this:

If Jennifer had known the elevator was broken, she would have worn better shoes. Her legs felt tight and she could feel blisters forming on her heels with every step. She worked on the 29th floor and still had ten flights to go.

They understand what action is being performed but the aren't bogged down by how she felt after each flight. Keep it short, sweet, and to the point. Your readers will appreciate it.

Same goes for action scenes in stories. The less description of each individual move, the more fluid your scene will be. People are better able to visualize a 'roundhouse kick' than 'a kick that arced towards the opponent's face'.

Feel free to ask questions!