Theory of Friendship that goes deeper than Love

Comfortable and Happy

It was a couple of days after Gun's 25th birthday and even though they were spending a lot of time together, Off visited Gun at his room unexpectedly. He rarely did that, because the younger lived with his family, so it felt wrong for Off to intrude. Off preferred Gun stopping by his place instead and those visits were frequent.
It was a long time ago when they became best friends and they were basically living in each other's pockets. It was that and the work obviously, but there has always been something else too. That special kind of connection that was making them feel like they couldn't get enough of each other. Many things changed in 2018 and even people started pointing out that Off warmed up to Gun considerably. The younger boy wasn't sure about that. Of course Papii was taking very good care of him and became more comfortable with his childish affections, but Gun was convinced Papii just got used to it. That's what Off kept saying himself after all. He even started hugging back shyly when they were in private, but Gun didn't want to read too much into it. He knew he certainly shouldn't. They could talk about everything and they often did talk for hours, talked whole nights more often than not. The only topic that just didn't feel quite right was their love lives. Off had a girlfriend and Gun... He just didn't see himself in a relationship for some reason. Sometimes Gun wondered about Off's relationship, but didn't dare to ask. Because if he did he might break. He wasn't even allowing himself to think "what if". What if Papii was single, what if he confessed to Papii he loves him even more than he admits, what if Papii... But sometimes Gun just couldn't understand how it works for Off to be in that relationship of his. Off wasn't seeing his girlfriend for days sometimes, but he was always there when Gun reached out to him. They were already spending all this time at work together and quite some time outside of it. On top of that, Papii was always there for him for their call before bed. He never rushed it, he never skipped it. Even at times when Gun was out late partying Off called him to say that he is already going to sleep and remind Gun to be safe and not to spend too much money. From time to time it happened that Off was with his girlfriend when he picked up the phone, but even then Papii just moved to another room to talk to him. Even if Gun wanted to wrap up the conversation quickly, Off huffed saying something like "Are you trying to get rid of me?" jokingly and they talked some more as they never run out of things to discuss. If Gun sometimes thought that he is receiving more attention that he should, he was always grateful for that, because Papii's attention was all he craved for. Besides, he really didn't know how Off is to his lover and how things worked between them. He tried not to think about it. Off was probably happy in that relationship. Well, he always seemed happy when Gun saw him, so things must've been good in his love life too. That's what the younger boy assumed.
Then, tonight Gun received a LINE message from Papii asking if he can come over to Gun's place for a bit. When the older boy entered the room Gun was almost ready for bed, hair wet, face mask on. He must've looked funny, but it was Papii, so Gun was alright with it. Off smiled broadly. He was alright with seeing Gun like that too. More than alright seeing the younger boy anytime. He stepped inside closing the door behind him and wrapped his arms around the younger boy. It was a bit out of ordinary, but Gun hugged him back happily.
- What happened, Papii? I was just about to call you good night when you messaged me.
- Nothing really happened. - Off smiled and somehow there was something similar to relieve on his face - I just didn't feel like seeing anyone other than you tonight.
- Weren't you supposed to meet up with...
- I was. - Off interrupted before Gun could say the name out loud - Like I said, I didn't feel like it. - he sounded bitter.
- Papii... - Gun reached his hand out to touch the older boy's arm again, but suddenly felt like he shouldn't. Off looked at Gun's retreating hand and there was something like worry in his eyes. - Did you fight or something?
- No, we didn't. - Off answered. - It's just, I feel like it isn't... I'm not sure if it ever was like what I'm... - Off hesitated - I-I don't know. I just wanted to be happy. - Off looked down and Gun got worried about him, because it was not right that his Papii wasn't smiling, that he wasn't comfortable.
- Don't worry Papii. - Gun smiled in an attempt to brighten Off's mood - Even if you don't understand, there's no reason to overthink. Happiness is not something to understand, but something to feel, isn't it?
- Y-yeah. I guess. - Off replied and the younger boy wasn't sure if whatever he said made any sense at all, but Off looked at him slightly surprised, so he smiled broadly.
- That's why I just wanted to see you. - Papii said and smiled back. His smile was brighter than the bedside lamp, brighter than the street lights and Gun was pretty sure it was brighter than the sun shining on the other side of the world right now.
- What is the thing that makes you happy? - Off asked.
- Me? Well, I guess there are lots of things. Like being an actor makes me happy, friends and family too. Our fans... - Gun said and looked at Off not sure if he should be completely honest or just stick to the things that were probably expected from him to say.
- Hmm... - Off bit his upper lip and looked down to his feet. It seemed he is getting cloudy again and that was something Gun absolutely couldn't stand seeing.
- Spending time with Papii everyday makes me super happy. - Gun blurted out. Off looked up swiftly, his eyes were shiny and the sunny smile was back on his lips.
- Is it? - Off perked up visibly.
- Can't you tell? - the younger boy teased more confident after seeing Off's reaction.
- I usually see you smiling and cheerful. - Off pondered.
- Yeah, that's what I was talking about, Papii. - Gun smiled coyly.
- I was thinking about a sleepover just now, but we're not at mine so I'd better be going. - Off said, but it didn't look like he was about to go anywhere.
- But it's okay to have a sleepover at my room.
- Are you asking me to stay? - Off smirked.
- How did you figure that out? - Gun smirked back and pulled Off's arm tugging him towards the bed. Off smiled and wriggled his arm out of Gun's grip just to grab the younger boy's hand instead as they plopped on the bed. It was out of ordinary too, but Gun didn't comment on it, because his heart started beating faster and the mood was just perfect. He didn't want to change a thing right now and it seemed that Off was just as content about it when they got comfortable under the covers after the older boy stripped quickly dropping his trousers and t-shirt on the floor. Seeing him suddenly only in his underwear made Gun blush, so he looked away for a moment, afraid Papii might notice.
- Actually I'm glad she's going to study abroad. - Off confessed after a longer while of just lying down and looking at each other in silence.
- What do you mean?
- It's nothing, just filming of Theory Of Love starts in two or three months and I'm going to be on set constantly anyway. - Off said - And I kind of want it to be OUR adventure.
- Um... - Gun didn't know what to think. Off was being strange this evening.
- Just ours, you know? - he was being strange, but Gun's heart was feeling even stranger.
- I like that. - the younger boy whispered and Off squeezed his smaller hand smiling shyly. That night they fell asleep wrapped around each other comfortably as they did many times before, but this time their hands remained entwined.