Theory of Friendship that goes deeper than Love

Troubled and Reassured

- You both look like a double trouble walking in like that. - P'Nook said when she saw Off and Gun stepping inside the office in the morning.
- Don't know what you mean. - Gun mumbled clutching and leaning on Off's arm, pouting his plump lips innocently. Off smirked adjusting his sunglasses on the top of his head. Somehow the older boy felt like he was on the top of the world today. He was guessing it were the endorphins from their little kisses that happened last night and actually this morning too. It was like this is going to be their thing from now on, because when Gun kissed his neck right after he woke up, Off ducked his head pursing his mouth as if asking for a peck on the lips too and he got it. Simple as that, yet exciting like a lottery prize.

***

Off was right that the pecks they were sharing are going to stay. Actually, they became kind of crazy with pecking each other's lips every chance they got. When they were alone it was easy. When they sneaked a small kiss here and there in the office when no one was looking it was thrilling. Even when they were in a room full of people at times like getting their make up done, Gun would lick his lips looking Off in the eyes, or Off would just pucker his lips at Gun from across the room for the younger boy to know that Off wants to kiss even though they can't, but Off still wants Gun to know he wants to.
Jumpol also felt more relaxed than ever recently and the younger boy must have sensed that, because he was indulging himself more if it comes to showing affection. For example he sometimes held Off's hand. When it happened for the first time Gun was not hiding his bewilderment, because Off hated holding hands, but when Gun reached out to entwine their fingers one day during a facebook live, Off did not back down. Quite the contrary, he let Gun pull their joined hands to the younger boy's lap and he was just sitting down with a dreamy smile on his face. It kept happening more, when they were alone or when they wanted to show support to the other one, or briefly when they were walking down an empty corridor. It felt good and quite innocent, Off had to admit.

***

- That's stupid. - Gun huffed leaving the set and stepping outside. Off was right beside him, since they both wanted to have a break. They've just filmed the first one sided kiss when Khai was drunk and kind of forced himself on Third. Everyone could tell that Gun was nervous.
- What is stupid? - Off asked concerned that the younger boy could dislike the things they've just done in front of camera that much.
- I wanted to stay in character, but I couldn't!
- Hey, don't be so hard on yourself. - they both stopped to sit on a bench while Off continued - We had to re-film just a few times and you're allowed to feel uncomfortable with that kind of touching and kissing, you know? - Jumpol assured but he felt dejected, like he was the one who secretly enjoys it and Gun is the one who is struggling to be okay with acting in the way too intimate scenes. Well, that was kind of true apparently.
- No, I wasn't uncomfortable. - Gun shook his head frowning - It's just that I couldn't handle the neck thing. You were trying to help so much, like you held your breath not to tickle me and all, but I still couldn't NOT feel the tingling. - the younger boy sighed frustrated.
- Maybe I was not gentle enough...
- The scene didn't actually require you to be gentle at all, you know? - Gun huffed and smirked, but Jumpol was afraid that he is just hiding his unease behind a smile.
- It's still understandable that you don't have to feel alright with that kind of touch... - Off hung his head down, his lips formed a straight line that showed concern.
- It's not that, Papii. It's just that no one touched me like that before and I wasn't able to handle how it felt, so I laughed and I was nervous. It wasn't a bad feeling at all and Third is so stupid. Who gets kissed by the person they like and is so stubborn not to react and enjoy it? I hate him sometimes. - Gun mumbled looking at his own knees and Off blinked unbelievingly. He wanted to say something, but his mind was blank. - Will I get used to it if we do it more times? Is the weird tingling going to go away eventually? - Gun asked quietly.
- I-I don't know. - Off stuttered still surprised with what he was hearing.
- But I nuzzle your neck all the time and you doesn't seem affected that much.
- I am okay with it, but not because the tingling disappeared with time, it's always there, but I'm okay with it because it feels... nice. - the older boy answered honestly.
- But you always say that you got used to it and you don't mind...
- Of course I don't mind feeling nice, silly. And I wouldn't be alright with it if it was someone else trying to touch my neck like that.
- Hm... Maybe you're right. I wouldn't really want to do something like that to anyone else. Like the small kisses. They only feel good with Papii.
- Oh God! - Off huffed a laugh - I was freaking out thinking you hated to do a scene like that with me.
- What? Why would I hate it? We do similar things at home! - Gun was surprised.
- I don't know, I thought that maybe it was... too much?
- It wasn't. - Gun said timidly - Maybe it was a bit too much to do in front of people, but it was for the filming, so... It can't be helped. - he shrugged.
- But still, it's not okay that you have to do that kind of things for work when you haven't even done them in real life. I feel bad about forcing you.
- It's not you forcing me. - the younger boy frowned.
- I know, but it doesn't seem right.
- And when Papii wanted to rehearse... You know, at the beginning. I wasn't okay with it, because if you wanted to do it just for work I don't want it to be like that. - Gun complained and it sounded like he was hurt. Off wasn't sure if he understands well. Was Gun saying that he would want to get some experience with intimate things with him, but only if it was for real, not a mere rehearsal? He needed to ask straightforwardly. He couldn't let it be another misunderstanding that could build a wall between them.
- And if I wanted to do some things with you just because?
- What do you mean? - Gun looked scared, but hopeful.
- You know, we are already so close, not exactly like an ordinary friends... - Off's heart wanted to jump out of his chest. - Like the hugs and pecks on the lips? I do it all because I like to do it with you. I-I like having you close, because we understand each other and I'm never bored with you, but also because I like your touch... I like that you're so adorably clingy and...
- Papii likes it more than just "not mind"..?
- Yeah... - Off hesitated, but decided not to shy away. - I would actually mind if you stopped being like that. Not that I can admit it in front of other people, but I can tell you, right?
- Yes, Papii, of course. But I was under an impression that you're just really patient with my affection...
- No. - Off cut in - I'm not. I wanna return it... - Gun blushed blinking at the older boy - I wasn't sure you wanted me to return it. - Jumpol added embarrassed.
- I want! - Gun answered a bit louder and so eager that he even surprised and embarrassed himself. - I-I mean... I don't really know how it should go... But I like all the things Papii said about us being close. Off smiled lovingly at the rosy cheeked boy.
- It's okay, we can figure it out when we're alone. - the older boy took Gun's hand in his and kissed his cheek lightly having checked if no one is around to see. Gun reacted automatically as if he wasn't shy a second ago. He wrapped his arms around Off's neck and nuzzled. The older boy wasn't sure if he isn't imagining things, but he felt as if their breathing synchronised after a couple of seconds and the smell of the younger boy as well as the heat of his body made him calm and relaxed, yet a bit excited. Because now he knew that they're gonna be alright with the filming and everything. He just wanted these feelings Gun's hug made him feel to never go away.