Him and I

Chapter 12

Continuing my week was straight. I didn't get into any more trouble for the rest of the week. Praise the lord. We were supposed to go to nana's house, but we didn't. We are going today after school instead. I meet dad outside like every day. He seems to be in a good mood. I am too actually. I toss my backpack in the back seat. "So how was your day?" I look at him and think. "My day was okay. Grace was acting weird. Like sad weird. She wouldn't tell us what was wrong or anything. I just said whatever. She'll probably tell me about it later. Or maybe not. I don't know." He nodded. "Well, I hope she's okay." Yea me too.

When we got to Nana's house, I saw Anthony's car. I was excited. I don't see Anthony often. Well just not as often as I see Antrez. He parks. I jump out and run to the door. It's already unlocked. Anthony is sitting on the couch. He smiles when he sees me. I jump into him. "Uncle Anthony! I missed you." He laughed and embraced me. "You saw me two weeks ago child." "I know but it felt like longer." He put me on the couch. We talked about school and other stuff. Dad still hasn't come in. I got up and looked out the door. Uncle Antrez was here. He was standing outside talking to him. Oh well. I went back over to Anthony. "Where's Nana?" He looked at his phone. "Probably still sleep." I nodded. "Can we go outside? Dad and Uncle Antrez are out there." He stood up and headed towards the door. I followed behind him. We both walked up to Dad and Antrez hand in hand. Antrez spoke to us. "Well, well, well if it ain't my favorite niece and my favorite brother." Dad scowled at him. "Fuck you Antrez." Anthony laughed. "Wassup y'all." He dapped them up and did the awkward bro hug. Sometimes I swear the act like they're not brothers.

They all sit outside and talk. I climb into the bed of Anthony's truck and stare at the sky. It's pretty. While doing so I get a notification. It's a text from Grace. I roll over and look at it. 'What was it like having a mom' That question hit me in the feels. Life's been moving so fast I forget sometimes. I figure if I keep pushing it's not gone matter. I just gotta keep going. I fight against responding, but I do. 'Hay Grace. It was okay. I was like having a sister, a best friend, and a mom all in one. She was my rock. It's kinda hard to think about this ya feel me?' She read my message. I waited for a reply that didn't come. I just tossed my phone to the side. Anthony came around to the back of the truck. He scared the shit out of me. "We going to the store. You coming?" I nodded. "Yea, can I ride in the back of the truck?" He looked over his shoulder. "I would say yes, but that's most definitely a question for my brother." "Dad!" I screamed. He came around the truck. "Why you screaming like that? And what's up?" "Can I ride in the back of Anthony's truck. I'll keep my head down, I won't move around, and I'll be safe. I promise. Please." He looked at Anthony. "No, it's illegal to ride in the back of trucks and..." Anthony cut him off. "We used to do it all the time." He looked at me. "Things were different back then." I put my hands together and started to beg. "Please, please, please. I'll be safe, please. And if-If a policeman comes I'll duck down. Please." He looked at Anthony and then me. Antrez yelled out the window. "What the fuck taking so long." Dad rolled his eyes. "Fine. If she gets hurt I'm beating your ass Anthony." I celebrated. Yes. Anthony patted my dads back and went to the driver's door. Dad got in the car. Now it was just me, alone with my thoughts. I hadn't thought about my mom in a while. Life was just happening. School, friends, punishment, new family, everything. I never stopped to think about mom. After Dad yanked me out the bed that was it. I vowed never to think of her. It was better that way.

The ride to the store was shortish. I had fun. I looked at the sky and rolled around the back of the truck. Dad looked back through the window every now and then. When we got there Antrez picked me up out of the truck and put me on the ground. "How was the back? Was it fun?" I nodded. "Yea, it was straight." He nodded and headed towards the entrance. I grabbed my dads hand. I don't know why, but I wanted to. He didn't fight it either. He just held it. We walked across the parking lot together. I just looked at all of them. This is my family now. Dad, Uncle Antrez, Uncle Anthony, and Nana. This is it. This is all I have. Dad takes me from my thoughts. "Huh, yes?" He smiles. "We gotta get some stuff for dinner. We cooking for moma tonight. We making Alfredo, so go get some Alfredo sauce. 3 jars." I nodded. I walked away to the Sauce aisle. I took my time. They were in no rush. I grabbed the three jars and turned on my feet. I went back to where they were and they were gone. I can't find them. I start to call out for them. "Dad! Uncle Anthony! Uncle Antrez!" Nothing. No one said nothing. I started to look around for them. Neither of them were anywhere to be found. I can't help but think of what Grace asked me. What's it like having a mother. I had a mother. Now I have no one. Suddenly feelings I haven't felt in a long time pushed themselves up. This arrangement is only temporary. Dad is not dad. He is Mr.McAdams. This arrangement was made so I didn't end up in foster care or an orphanage. He doesn't care about me for real. He just felt bad. I know that's not the case, but right now I can't help but think it is.