Thoughts From a Sad Girl

November 12, 2019

Entry #6

All I can say is, " What an eventful two days." 

First order of business; Dr. Ramirez. I saw her today. We spoke more about the move and my new school (boy do I have news for you on that subject). She did a lot more talking this time. She asked  A LOT of questions about my emotions before, after and during the move; she asked about friends from my old and new school. 

We spoke a lot about my relationship with my mom; which is uneasy. I told Dr. Ramirez how some days I feel like she wants to be my friend and others I think she hates me. I also told her that me and my mom never really had a great relationship; I was always very close to my dad. Whenever I try to let her in she always judges me and wants to force her ways on me, but I'm 16 turning 17 and I don't always have to think like her. 

Dr. Ramirez said it was common for girls my age to not get along with their moms. She suggested that I try to be more open towards my mom and voice to her how I feel when she tries to push her views on to me. She also said "I'm impressed with your thinking, you are right to think that not everyone always has to agree all the time. Hopefully she will come to realize that same thing." She then went on to say that I should try talking to her more because we are both adjusting to major changes in our lives. She hit me with the "you need each other  now, more than ever " bullshit. Sometimes I think I'm starting to like Dr. Ramirez, but then she goes and says things like that. 

As for my mom ... I don't know, maybe I'll try a little more. It's just lately somethings been weird with her and for someone who is supposed to be mourning, she sure as hell has been doing a lot of shopping. She has new furniture for every room in the house; except mine. 

However, enough about therapy and my mommy problems. I JOINED THE ART CLUB YESTERDAY! Also me and that boy started talking during lunch. 

Lets talk about the boy first, his name is Christian. Apparently he's lived in the city his whole life but his parents made him transfer to my school (have I mentioned I go to a private school, I don't know how we can afford all of these things) because he was getting into a lot of trouble and his parents had run out of options. He didn't seem to agree too much with their line of thinking. 

I asked him why he sat with me, he said because my lonely aura was pulling at him and he felt a need to dissect the person projecting the energy. Then of course he asked "So why are you sitting alone?" Just as "alone" fell off his tongue the bell rang, so I just shrugged my shoulders and got up to head to my next class. 

Today during lunch we talked the whole period. He told me about his old school and how he was the lead in a band. I told him about San Francisco and how I'm really into art. It was a great conversation 

As for the art club, the meeting was awesome. Everyone was really nice and they showed me some of their work; it was pretty good. The also told me that as a fundraiser they help 3 club art shows. The first one being a winter art show, it was happening on December 20. 

"I know it's only a month away, but you're more than welcome to add pieces if you'd like. There's still time, we don't start finalizing things until a December 10th or so, and even then as long as you tell us your idea we'll make sure their is space for you." One of the girls said. 

"I can work with that, I'd love to do it." I answered.

It has been a great two days. I've already started thinking about what I'm going to do for the art show. I haven't told my mom yet, maybe I'll go tell her now.