It's You: Book Two

Chapter Sixteen

I slept for about an hour and a half, and then the baby woke up. I got up and gave her a bottle of donor breastmilk, burped her, changed her diaper, and then rocked her back to sleep.

I put her back in the crib after holding her for a little while, and then I decided I needed to get something to eat, because I haven't eaten in twenty four hours.

I'm sitting in the cafeteria now. I left the baby with my parents and told them to call me if either one of my girls woke up.

I'm exhausted, both mentally and physically.

The sky is beautiful today. I can see it out the window.

I take a sip of my water and screw the cap back on, walking out the door that leads to outside.

I step out into the grass and look up at the sky, shutting my eyes.

I can smell the freshly cut grass. The trees sway slightly in the breeze, and it's like Lex is here with me.

It's like I can feel her in the wind, and it makes me want to cry.

She went down around three thirty, four o'clock in the morning.

It's just after one in the afternoon, and I just want her to come back to me.

I open my eyes, peering at the fat white clouds and the elegant blue of the sky.

"I know you're out there. I see you every day. I see you in the flowers. In the trees. In the sky. I see you in Alexandra. I see you in Declan. I see you in our baby girl. I know you're there, even if other people don't think so. So, I am asking you, no, I am begging you, God, please bring her back to me. Please. I want to live my whole life with her. I want to grow old with her. Please don't take her away from me."

I stand there for a moment, and the breeze increases until I can feel my hair moving in the wind.

I shut my eyes and stand there until the breeze stills, and then I take another sip of my water and head back inside.

I stop by the restroom, and then I get a coke from the cafeteria, because I need some type of caffeine.

I sit down, taking my time to drink it.

I check my phone, sighing when I see I don't have any messages.

I was hoping for some news.

After about ten minutes or so, I stand up. I know the baby is going to wake up soon, so I head walk over to the elevator, hitting the button to go up.

It opens in front of me after a few seconds, and I get on with an older lady who is holding some get well soon balloons.

"What floor?" I ask her.

"Four." She says.

I press the button, and then I hit six for the ICU.

"Thank you." she says.

"You're welcome."

The elevator soars upwards, and comes to a halt on four.

She walks off, and then the doors close, rising up to six.

I take in a deep breath through my nose and let it out through my mouth.

The elevator opens, and my heart feels heavy as I walk off the elevator.

I walk across the sixth floor, run my fingers through my hair, and then walk into Lex's room.

Everyone is standing up around her bed. The baby is sleeping in the crib on the other side of the room.