It's You: Book Two

Chapter Twenty Two

When you leave our neighborhood, if you go left, about three miles up the road is a public access to Lake Michigan. People come here to put their boat in the water, or to swim.

But me, at eleven at night, I walked all the way here to be alone.

I sit on the end of the boardwalk with my feet in the water, tears rolling slowly down my cheeks as I try to wrap my head around what's happening. I reach up and wipe them away, trying to calm myself down.

My Mom and Dad were always the couple I wanted to be. They ere the kind of couple that embarrassed you in the store. They kissed every single time they left the house, never hung up the phone without saying I love you, and always instilled in Danny, Mike and I's mind that when we're grown and we're married, it's not always rainbows and butterflies.

Dad told me marriage was about commitment and communication. Mom said it was choosing to love each other, even when you can't stand each other.

My Dad told me that when I fight with somebody, I have to remember that I'm angry at the situation, not at the person. He would casually toss in that it's different in you're cheated on, because you need to know your own worth.

I contemplate the possibility of one of them cheating, but I immediately brush the idea off. There's no way they cheated on each other.

I start shaking my head.

What is it then? Money? Lack of excitement? Lack of trust? Did they just grow apart?

How could they grow apart? They live together!

I comb through every idea thoroughly, but it doesn't make sense. Nothing makes sense.

My grandparents on both sides of my family are still married. My aunts and uncles are all married, all of my cousins...

It just doesn't add up.

I bite my lip to stop myself from crying again, and I realize I feel so alone. It's quiet. I can hear the water gently lapping up against the posts holding the boardwalk up. A few people are still out on their boats from the firework show, but mostly they're gone. A couple sits on the shore, but they're not talking.

The most prominent noise are the cars passing on the street, but it's late and Traverse City, Michigan, isn't that busy. Not many people are out.

I look up at the stars and shut my eyes. More tears slide down my cheeks. I hear footsteps on the boardwalk and I sniffle and wipe them up quickly.

Whoever it is can go away. It's probably somebody coming to fish.

I take a few deep breaths and prepare myself to have to speak, but the footsteps stop less then a foot behind me, and then somebody sits down beside me.

I immediately turn my head, shocked when I see Camilla sitting there.

"I know, I know," she puts her hands up. "You were probably expecting Aiden, maybe your Dad or Mom? One of your brothers?" she shrugs her shoulders. "Ali left with Mike, who told her he needed to leave right after you walked out, Danny started grumbling about getting a hotel, and then he left. Marcus and Wyatt left with their girlfriends, and Declan woke up so Aiden was putting him to bed. Your parents were arguing, so Peter was staying there trying to talk to them."

I look back at the water, and I can see the reflection of the moon in it. Tears roll down my cheeks.

"They were fighting?" I whisper. My voice is wobbly.

When she doesn't answer, I bury my head in my hands and start sobbing.

"Oh, honey," she pulls me against her side, rubbing my arm as I cry.

I don't even want to talk about it, I just want to feel like somebody cares.

She must get that idea, so she doesn't say anything else.

_________

It's been about an hour of straight silence. She has her head resting against mine, which is on her shoulder. She's rubbing my arm, and I've been crying.

"How did you find me?" I ask after a few minutes of me managing not to cry.

"Aiden told me you would probably be here." She whispers. "He's worried about you. He keeps texting me-" she turns her wrist to look at her apple watch. "-asking if you're okay. He keeps telling me to bring you to him. Are you ready to go home?"

I nod my head tiredly, because I know I need to.

We stand up together, and she walks with me to her car.

I get in the passenger seat and we take the short drive home, in complete silence, with not even the radio going.

She shuts the engine off in the driveway.

I reach for my seatbelt, and then I glance at her.

"Did you and Peter know?" I whisper.

She looks sad.

"No honey, we didn't know."

I nod my head to myself and get out of the car.

She stays with me as I walk up the path.

I push open the front door and she shuts it behind me.

My parents are screaming at each other. Aiden is here, trying to console Annalise and Declan, who are both crying, and Peter is attempting, and failing, to get them to stop.

I take a couple of deep breaths and begin to listen in, slowly gathering that they're arguing about me and my brothers. My Dad thinks my Mom told me because she was being selfish and didn't want to keep the secret anymore, that she ruined Fourth of July for us forever. Mom thinks they waited too long to tell us and that was why we reacted badly.

Peter sees me and Camilla and throws his hands up.

"I've been trying to get them to stop for two hours." He looks frustrated, my babies are upset, and Aiden looks stressed.

They're in my kitchen, it's twelve thirty, and they're stressing everyone out.

I walk into the kitchen.

"Shut up!" I yell at both of them.

Immediately, they stop.

"Alex, honey, come here," Mom opens her arms for me.

"No, stop trying to force her to pick your side." Dad snaps at her.

"Are you serious?!" Mom snaps at him.

"Yes Mary, I'm serious." Dad replies.

"It disgusts me to see you guys like this." I say quietly. I feel my eyes brimming with tears, and the moment they fall, I wipe them.

"Don't cry." Dad sighs. "Sweetheart-"

"No." I shake my head. "No, don't call me sweetheart, don't talk to me. Just stop fighting, alright? You woke up both of my kids, so I seriously thank you for that. If you're going to fight, get out of my house. If I could leave like my brothers, I would, but my family is here, so I won't. I don't know what the hell happened to you, but I know there's no way one of you cheated because that doesn't make sense, I refuse to accept the whole 'fell out of love' bullshit, because you can't just fall out of love. There has to be a lack of something. All I know is that all the shit you drilled into my head as a kid about marriage is about compromise, marriage is about loving each other, even when you can't stand each other was a bunch of bullshit you spewed, because it's obvious neither one of you actually believed it, so thanks for not only waking up the kids but also ruining the Fourth, ripping apart everything I've ever known, and making me second guess my own marriage. Thanks a lot."

"How are you second guessing your own marriage?" Mom asks. "Sweetie-"

"Because everything I thought I knew about marriage was a fucking lie! Whatever, it doesn't matter. I'm going to put my kids to bed, and then I want to be with my husband because he's probably the only person alive who can talk some sense into me right now. Since you two can't stand each other, figure over who sleeps on the couch, since you drove away Danny and everyone else left."