Darkie Fiction

giving thanks

I am giving thanks to

the boy I could never talk to

the boy who made me question myself

the boy with the million dollar smile

and perfect skin

the boy

I could never admit my feelings to

the boy

whose gaze lingered on my friends

instead of me

the boy I thought meant

something to me

for the longest time

the boy who's gaze began to

linger on mine

once I had already forgotten

all about him

the boy with the million dollar smile

that could never buy my heart

I am giving thanks

to the boy who unknowingly

made me realise my worth

●●●●●●●●

When I was younger I used to think that you could only be beautiful if a boy told you so. I struggled with my self-esteem for the longest time because I never felt beautiful, I felt that I was too thin, too dark and my hair that my family and friends loved so much was not accepted in school - by people of color for that matter, and that messed me up in primary school.

The boy that this poem is about is a crush I had in primary school for a while. We never really spoke or interacted but I remember being very attracted to him and being insecure everytime I was around him.

The lesson he taught me was of self love. Self love has never been an easy concept for me to grasp because I was and I still am a rollercoaster of emotions and memories and just every single event that has occurred in my life that has left a lasting impact - a negative lasting impact. I am working on it and I want whoever is reading to work on it too because self love is important, especially in a society like ours.

Share your story of when you realised the importance of loving yourself and putting yourself first.

- MAWIZANA {wise one}