Darkie Fiction

"sisters of fate"

I never had my eyes on you

Until you came back like I

asked you to

You were quiet

Dark and brooding

With a delicate voice

That I hung closely to

I wanted more of you

For an experience;

A summer in the arms

Of another

I seduced you closer to me

That chilly night on that couch;

Placed outside

And there were others

Who dared to speak to me

But I had my eyes on you

I wonder if you were sober

That day

I wonder if you really wanted

Me to stay

I wonder what it would have

Felt like if we made love

I wonder

Until I remember

On New Year's Eve

You wanted to kiss me

For the first time

Then she told me

You were kissing

Somebody else

Under the star lit sky

Bursting with fireworks

After we made it official

●●●●●

So this poem is about my first ever relationship - even though I wouldn't necessarily define it as that. He was a complex character, very reserved yet very interesting in his own way. Honestly, I chose to spend time with him because I had never really had a real relationship. You could say he was my first.

It doesn't last very long but a lot happened during our time together that influenced my growth. I would drink with him, we talked and we would do sexual things but we never had sex. He was, and this might sound rude, my chance to experiment. I was never in love with him but I cared about him and I was extremely attracted to him.

Our relationship wasn't passionate and genuine in my opinion but I wanted it then. I wanted a boyfriend and I ignored everything else in my mind that told me no. We hung out a lot more and I was very hesitant to ask him what we were but I needed to know, I needed to know what was going on in his mind. His words weren't satisfying of course because he didn't seem to want it as much as I did, it was like he was giving me all the power to make the decision and I didn't want that, I didn't want a one-sided thing.

Suprisingly, we made it official. We were girlfriend and boyfriend. I was content. I got what I wanted but silly me didn't realise it wasn't what I needed.

I learned that he cheated from my friend and I broke things off, and that was the end of that. The lesson I got from my experience with him is the lesson of relationships. Every one of us needs to have a clear set of standards and intentions when it comes to romantic relationships. We all need to have healthy and genuine relationships that benefit us and grow us. We all need to understand and know enough about a prospective partner before committing to a relationship. We need to grow and love ourselves as individuals before allowing someone else to add on to that growth and love.

Share your stories in the comments or through private message. Add on to this if you'd like, go wild! ♡

- MAWIZANA {wise one}